Lilei Chow sent me the following recipe after reading In.Tech. This cake is sinfully delicious despite the fact that it did not turn out the way it should. I did not have an eight-inch cake pan and used the usual six-inch tin that I often baked with instead. Because of its high liquid content, this cake would have fared better baked in the former, with its batter spread out thinner. No matter, it turned out good enough to eat, and was rich, moist and full of chocolatey flavour. Thank you Lilei, for a very wonderful recipe.

1/2 cup natural cocoa powder, such as Hershey’s
2 tsps. instant espresso/instant coffee
1cup boiling water
2 tsps. vanilla extract
12 tbsps. unsalted butter, softened (not melted)
1 1/4 cups castor sugar
2 large eggs @ room temp.
1 1/4 cups all purpose flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt

Method:

1. Adjust the oven rack to center position and heat ovens to 350 deg Farrenheit. Generously grease two 8 by 1 1/2 inch round cake pans with vegetable shortening and cover bottom of pans with rounds of parchment paper or waxed paper. Grease paper, then dust cake pans with flour, tapping out excess.
2. Mix cocoa and instant coffee in small bowl; add boiling water and mix until smooth. Cool to room temperature, then stir in vanilla.
3. Beat butter in bowl at medium-high speed until smooth and shiny, about 30 seconds. Gradually sprinkle in sugar, beat until mixture is fluffy and almost white, about 3-5 minutes. Add eggs one at a time, beating 1 full minute after each addition.
4. Whisk flour, baking soda, and salt in medium bowl. With mixer at lowest speed, add about 1/3 of cocoa mixture; mix until ingredients are almost incorporated into batter. Repeat process twice more. When batter appears blended, stop mixture and scrape bowl sides with spatula. Return mixer to low speed ; beat until batter looks satiny, about 15 seconds longer. (If using hand, fold in flour mixture with big metal spoon)
5. Divide batter evenly between pans. With rubber spatula, spread batter to pan sides and smooth the tops. Bake cakes until they feel firm in center when lightly pressed and skewer comes out clean or with just a crumb or two clinging to it; 23-30 minutes. Transfer to wire racks; cool for 10 minutes. Run knife around perimeter of each pan, invert cakes onto racks, and peel off paper liners. Reinvert cakes onto additional racks; cool completely before frosting.

We soared above the garden of clouds
With a prayer and on wings of faith
To be near where the angels crowd.

Wuan took that photograph on our way to Penang from KLIA. We were flying somewhere over Perak. As the plane emerged from under the clouds, a carpet of feathery white greeted us. We could almost feel the fluff under our feet, white and cottony as far as our eyes could see. The cerulean ceiling stretched into infinity, infusing in us a sense of interminable tranquillity.

�We are in heaven,� Wuan remarked.

Indeed, for a moment it felt as if we were, and I wondered if I could see Mum up there. That was only the week after I had interred Mum�s ashes. The grief was still very intense then. As I looked out the window, I really wished I could see Mum somewhere out there amongst the clouds for just one more time.

I am in a pensive mood. The events of the day were just too overwhelming. Early this morning, my cousin Peter fetched Cheng Ee (Mum’s youngest sister) and me to the Mount Erskine Columbarium to light candles before Mum’s niche. Today is All Souls’ Day.

After all the candles were lighted, auntie and Peter recited prayers for Mum. I did not know any; so I performed the usual tribute with my harmonica. As I blew the tunes of the emotive Amazing Grace, tears flowed down my cheeks. I still miss Mum very much. We lingered a while there, watching the flames sway lazily in the wind, each reminiscing silently about the times Mum had graced us with her kindness and magnanimity.

Later, we attended Mass at the Risen Christ Church at Ayer Itam. Poh Ee, my other aunt (Mum’s second sister) had requested for Mum’s name to be included in the prayer for the dearly departed today. The Mass was in Mandarin, which I have a very poor command of. Even then, simply being there was enough to give me a sense of belonging. This is the first time that I have entered a church in twenty years, except that time for Mum’s Funeral Mass. It brought back memories of the time I used to tag along when Mum attended Mass in Balik Pulau.

Today I am embarking on a journey that I never once thought I would take. The journey may be long, the destination yet unclear but one thing I know for sure – if I look to Mum for strength and direction, I am sure the path will eventually be clear and welcoming.