Melancholic Moment

The Christmas tree is up, chasing lights, trimmings and all. The tree and decors are all from last year. Wuan brought them from KL. I know it is a little premature to get into a festive mood. But I have been melancholic for some time now. This is a little pick-me-up that I thought could cheer me up.

The living room is almost in darkness with only the corridor lights illuminating from outside. The chasing lights are basking the room in a warm glow. The baubles looked shinier than before. Gold and red ribbon bows added a touch of elegance. This is a pretty tree, like a lady all dressed up for a night out.

Here I am, sitting all by myself, silently watching the lights blink, trying to find a reason to celebrate. I am feeling very emotional. I am so lonesome I could cry. Mum is no longer here. Wuan is 400km away. It is difficult to persuade myself to rejoice the season when there is no one to share in the festivities of the moment with me.

Author: Peter Tan

Peter Gabriel Tan. Penangite residing in the Klang Valley. Blissfully married to Wuan. A LaSallian through and through. Slave to three cats. Wheelchair user since 1984. End-stage renal disease since 2017. Principal Facilitator at Peter Tan Training specialising in Disability Equality Training. Former columnist of Breaking Barriers with The Borneo Post. This blog chronicles my life, thoughts and opinions. Connect with me on Twitter and Facebook.

10 thoughts on “Melancholic Moment”

  1. Well Peter,

    I guess being lonely at the moment could drain the soul…just hang in there and i am sure this Christmas will be a very fullfilling one for a person as strong as you

  2. Jimmy,
    Thank you. I was overwhelmed by the moment. Sometimes, I just dread the impending festive seasons.

  3. stay strong, things could turn out differently 🙂 the lord after all, works in mysterious ways to test us.

  4. “bring on the good times
    whenever you’re feelin’ blue
    sing along, and a smile’ll kiss you sweet
    you’d be fine, you’ll feel as right as rain

    and cast a light, in the darkness so deep
    see your way, and make it through the day
    you’d be fine, you’ll feel as right as rain

    and everyday the sun shines down down down
    you should, be kind, be nice (be nice)
    and together lets say”:P

    check out my player’s paradise to listen to the song 😉

  5. Hi Peter

    I’ve been taking some time out ,,, and i 2 was gonna start to decorate my home early .Over here in oz ppl go all out a xmas .I’m gonna take a heaps of pics of Gracelands i’ll send you a few.

    Also as you know when my children are sound asleep that is usually when i am lonely ,i should be use to it by now .

    Anyway just really wanna say ,you have a friend in me, always and i will send ya a quick mail
    won’t nag ya too much he he
    take care

  6. Hi Peter
    It is one of those days, huh? You may be alone at home but not in the cyberhome, as I can see. There are so many caring friends here who show genuine warmth. May the sun shine real bright soon.

  7. Heyy…don’t feel sad!! I know it is lonely without anyone physically there with you now..especially when your mum is not around anymore and Wuan is so far away…but there are always cyber friends…neighbours…church mates…relatives…and of course God.
    Christmas is a time to remember God…on how His Son was born on this day to save us all from our sins. Christmas is time to be thankful for all that we have today 🙂
    Cheer up!! Take care 🙂

  8. Dave,
    Yes, some songs can be uplifting, just like the song your blog is named after. Great music you have there.

    Thank you.

    Yup, that was one of those days. Must be a pre-festive season depression. I still owe you a kopi-O hor?

    Which do you prefer? Cheer me up or get depressed together with me?

    Compared to the suffering Jesus went through, my depression seems insignificant. Thank you. You take care too.

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