Loving Me, Disabilties And All?

Is it difficult to love a severely paralysed man? Yes! A lot of times, I am frustrated with myself for not being able to do simple things that other people have taken granted for. Every little task needs an extra effort, sometimes a whole lot. When I finally give up tying to pick something up from the floor, after grappling with it in futility for fifteen minutes, I would sit there breathless, fuming and brood over my misfortune. It is difficult to love a severely disabled man that I am when simple tasks that even babies can do become gargantuan to my crippled hands.

Is it truly difficult to love a man with my disabilities? Ask Wuan. We have been together for five years. Not once has she complained about my lack of physical abilities. Instead, she would devise ways to make it easier for me to perform various tasks. Those that are totally beyond me, she became my hands and feet. She cared enough to observe, learn and improvise, all for my sake. She takes the impossible and makes it into “I-m-possible.” With her, I have been to more places than I possibly could. She makes my life easier. Sometimes, I have the impression that she loves me more than I myself. To her, it is as if loving a man like me is effortless. She is an exceptional person. I am sure people who know us well will wholeheartedly agree.

Author: Peter Tan

Peter Gabriel Tan. Penangite residing in the Klang Valley. Blissfully married to Wuan. A LaSallian through and through. Slave to three cats. Wheelchair user since 1984. End-stage renal disease since 2017. Principal Facilitator at Peter Tan Training specialising in Disability Equality Training. Former columnist of Breaking Barriers with The Borneo Post. This blog chronicles my life, thoughts and opinions. Connect with me on Twitter and Facebook.

8 thoughts on “Loving Me, Disabilties And All?”

  1. Peter,

    If there are more people who have this kind of love, the world would be a better place to live in. God has sent an angel to watch over you. I think that angel is Wuan.

  2. Whenever I see real life examples of true love it gives a warm fuzzy feeling inside. 🙂

    I think people usually treat someone roughly the same way that someone treats them. Thanks for posting this.

  3. Bkworm,
    Now we know that not all angels have wings and a halo.

    I am still learning. All said, I do take some things for granted too, those that people with other disabilities find difficulty in doing.

    You are welcome. The greatest love is to love unconditionally. Wuan gave me that, and more.

  4. Nyx,
    To be with a man with disabilities like mine, five years can feel like a very long time. Indeed, hers is a love that sees beyond the physical attributes.

  5. Hi Peter,

    Wuan is truly an angel…:) For that I salute her efforts. Meanwhile, I enjoy your blog alot…keep up the good work…:)

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