Love is when she wakes up at 0545 every morning to cook your meals before going to work. Love is when she goes out of her way to get you your favourite hawker food. Love is when she sees something nice she thinks of you. Love is when she stands steadfast by you while everyone else forsakes you. Love is when she tells you she loves you and you see the honesty and passion in her eyes. Love is when she does not mind the inconveniences of going places with you on your wheelchair. Love is when she disregards the rude stares from strangers because she is with a disabled man. Love is when she knows that she will have to sacrifice a lot more than she will ever get from this relationship and she loves you all the same. Love is when she holds the sky up for you as the world around you is falling apart. Love is when she is willing to do anything to make you happy. Love is when she is the person you know for sure you want to grow old together with. Love is beautiful when it is with Wuan. Happy Valentine’s Day darling.

Lethargy.

Dull mind.

Words do not come easy.

Eyes bleary.

Is it the diet?

Are the kidneys on another downward spiral?

Side effects of Detrusitol SR?

Or just the weather?

Too hazed to be depressed.

Sleep.

Let that wash away this stupor.

Sleep.

Gently sleep.

A momentary escape.

This is the reason why I have not started my diet log. The Chinese New Year is the only time I cook the Hou Si Fatt Choy (Braised Dried Oysters with Black Moss). Most of the ingredients used were probably those that I should either avoid or eat very little of. Today is the last instance I am eating this dish. I had them for lunch and dinner. Each mouthful was savoured to the fullest - the taste and the aroma conscientiously saved in my memory. From tomorrow onwards, my food will be bland. That will buy my kidneys more time. That I willingly do to sustain my renal health.

The fish maw soup is another of my favourite festive cuisine. I have modified the recipe to suit my current dietary needs. Mum had bought this piece of fish maw two years ago. I have been breaking it into smaller pieces to cook soups over the months. I do not know if fish maw is something I can indulge in too. Perhaps, when the time comes to cook the last portion, I will enjoy it unhurriedly like I did the Hou Si Fatt Choy.

Hou Si Fatt Choy (Braised Dried Oysters with Black Moss)

Ingredients:
8 dried oysters, soak in 1� cup warm water for 1 hour
38 g black moss, soak in 1 cup warm water for 30 minutes and drain
300g roasted pork, cut into 1 cm thick portions
6 shitake mushrooms, soak in enough water to cover and leave overnight

2 tbsp oyster sauce
1 tsp thick soy sauce
1/2 tsp sugar
1 tsp corn flour
1 cup water
a dash of sesame seed oil

Heat oil and saute garlic, shallots and ginger until fragrant. Add oyster and fry for another 1 minute. Add shitake mushrooms and roasted pork and stir fry for another minute. Add the sauces and water, 1 cup each of the water the oysters and mushrooms were soaked in and let simmer for about 30 minutes. If the gravy becomes too thick, add water. Add the black moss and simmer for another 10 minutes before turning off heat. Serve with rice.

I forgot to buy Chinese cabbage and it was not added. The cabbage would have made the gravy tastier.

Today is Ash Wednesday. It is the beginning of Lent – a period of forty days of spiritual cleansing and fasting leading to Easter. Sundays are not considered part of Lent. On this day, the priest marks the forehead of the faithful with the sign of the cross with ashes acquired from the burning of palm fronds used in previous year’s Palm Sunday celebration. I did not attend the Mass for the blessing and imposition of ashes because I could not get transport to church this evening.

Read more about Ash Wednesday here, here and here.

How did I spend the first day of the Chinese New Year? Uncle Paul took me to Mass together with his family. There I met my mother’s cousin, some second cousins and parishioners whom I have gotten acquainted with since going to Mass there. There was an air of joviality as the interior of the Cathedral was decked in red lanterns, scrolls with auspicious Chinese calligraphy hanging from the pillars and everbody wishing each other with a smile. Today was also the first time I attended Mass celebrated by the Reverend Father Francis Anthony, the new parish priest.

The Cathedral was not packed at all which was surprising because when I went to the Chinese New Year Mass at Balik Pulau last year, the church was filled to the brim. This could be due to the fact that today is also Ash Wednesday and I guess many will be going to the Mass later in the evening.

Later in the day, my paternal aunty, cousin and her husband whom I have not seen for four years dropped in. We spent some time catching up on the news of the relatives on my father’s side. It has been a very long time since I have met any of them as most of them are in Bukit Mertajam.

I spent the rest of the day reading. I bought two books at the Church of St. Francis Xavier the other day. One was titled Parishes in Post-Modernism. I had read part of it when I was at Wuan’s place. I finished the rest of it today. It was written by the Reverend Father Joseph Stephen who happened to be there to promote his book on that day. This book explores how we can continue to live a life of faith amidst the present-day challenges. He will be at the Cathedral of the Holy Spirit from February 12 to 13 to promote this book. Father Joseph Stephen is a Redemptorist priest. Click here to learn more about the Redemptorists.

The other book that I bought was the Catholic Directory and Ordo of Malaysia-Singapore-Brunei 2005. The directory lists the contacts of all Roman Catholic churches and Religious and secular organisations. Among others, the Ordo contains the Catholic Liturgical Calendar and the Liturgy of the Hour for the current year.