Love Thy Neighbour
You must love your neighbour as yourself. (Matthew 22:39, NJB)
This commandment, while seemingly simple, is one that is extremely difficult to obey when one has a neighbour like mine. After an uneventful journey back from Kuala Lumpur, I got home to discover my neighbour had used one of a pair of Mum’s glazed flower pots to plant chillies. There were other normal clay pots there but he had to use the nicest.
When I saw his father, I told him he could use my other pots but not that particular one. He was very amicable and said he will get the plants transferred soon. His daughter, the owner of the apartment, came out and started to be abusive, accusing me of being a calculative neighbour. She said they have just planted the chillies and have used my pot because I was not around and the pot was empty.
While she was screaming outside, I turned my back to her and continued surfing. A short while later, still screaming, she dumped the glazed pot outside my door and said she does not want to use the other pot too. I turned back to look at her briefly and continued to surf, ignoring her and the two pots she left outside. That must have annoyed her more as I could hear her hurling more insults outside in between talking loudly to her brother.
As if that was not enough, she dragged a water tank that had been used as a planter from another part of the common corridor and positioned it just outside our entrances. My guess is that she had hoped to inconvenience me when I needed to go out. That did not work. I could manoeuvre my wheelchair with little difficulty to get out.
I could never imagine how petty some people can get. They dragged another pot to create a wider obstruction when it was obvious that their tactic was not working. I have not gone out yet. Tomorrow perhaps. I have been very patient until now because I do not want to create an air of enmity with people I have to meet everyday. However, if my safety is compromised because of those obstructions, I definitely will take action through the proper channels against these people. In the meantime, I pray that they will see the error of their ways and remove the obstructions which are also inconveniencing themselves.
All this over a flower pot. Unimaginable. I am glad there is a set of mores to guide me during times like these. Religion really does change a person for the better. I normally would have screamed back. I did not this time, not since I accepted Jesus into my life. Thank God for that.
June 27th, 2005 at 00:35
Peter
Be strong…I know you are and will always be.
June 27th, 2005 at 00:54
Wow. What a neighbour.
So sorry that things turned out like that. It was very inconsiderate of them. You are their neighbour, after all.
June 27th, 2005 at 00:57
Hey peter
I can put fridge in front of their house, bolt it down, pour quick dry cements and vapourize the house with anti denggi spray. you just have to say yes terence, have fun doing it
June 27th, 2005 at 01:05
Goodness, that really is petty of them. Kudos to you for taking the higher road. I know how easy it is to be tempted to retaliate.
June 27th, 2005 at 01:06
i feel like cussing now peter. what s**theads!! argh. you take care ok
June 27th, 2005 at 01:12
Jeffrey,
Thanks. They have since removed the obstruction just after I have posted this entry. In blocking my way, they are blocking their own way too because we share a common corridor to our respective entrances.
JxT2J,
Thanks. I have been tolerating their selfish antics for six years. Never once have I blown my top. Today they blew theirs over a flower pot. You can imagine what kind of people I have to put up with almost everyday.
Terry,
My apartment is right next to theirs. When their entrance is blocked, mine is too. So please take your fridge, quick dry cement and fumigator and go play somewhere else, ok?
cynical-idealist,
I am glad I did not retaliate too. I was very tempted to. Lucky thing good sense prevailed. Otherwise it could have turned ugly.
kimberlycun,
Thanks. You are a real friend.
June 27th, 2005 at 01:21
Your neighbour’s just a complete fool, but I can’t help but laugh, shit is just funny
June 27th, 2005 at 01:22
KY,
When they had to move the obstructions, I could not help but chuckle.
June 27th, 2005 at 01:46
The very term “Love your neighbour as yourself” (Mark 12:31) was an ironic statement, for in that society no man loved his neighbour, but distrusted hime heartily.
Much of Christ’s humour has been lost, therefore.
June 27th, 2005 at 02:26
Hi Peter. I came across your site after reading the bloggers article from The Star and I like what you’re doing. Keep it up mate!
June 27th, 2005 at 04:43
whoa..neighbors from hell..but i really do respect you a lot, peter =) keep the patience going.
June 27th, 2005 at 05:27
What morons! Never mind, vengence is God’s.
June 27th, 2005 at 08:28
Gosh it must be hard for you…
June 27th, 2005 at 08:51
Wow…
people really stoop so low to choose hatred in thier lives.
If I am not mistaken,
people who do such an act in ancient Germany are forced to wear shame masks and stand in the middle of the road for people to mock…
pity them, it is thier choice of choosing hatred.
It will go back to them one day.
a blog reader
- Life Feel
June 27th, 2005 at 10:39
I can’t believe that some people can be so inconsiderate. Yeah! actually I do I guess.
June 27th, 2005 at 10:55
maybe that’s her way of showing love. HAHAAHA!! sorry..*ahem* that was VERY lame on my behalf. (in a very serious tone) maybe she has the devil in her. call a priest to exorcise her (or if you’re feeling…’naughty’, an experienced bomoh like err…mona fandey would do). if that doesn’t work, panggil a lawyer or encik polis. for the overkill, panggil your gang of bloggers (or call jeff ooi-cukup).
June 27th, 2005 at 11:04
I heard when you install orgonites around your house, your neighbours will behave nicely… strange eh?
don’t believe it? believe it.
a blog reader
-Life Feel
June 27th, 2005 at 11:15
Wish everyone could be like you, don’t know if I’d have the patience to stand such a neighbour. It’s sad really that her father could be so understanding while her daughter so petty. First she made the mistake of taking your belongings without consent and next she trie to justify such an action by degrading you and pushing the blame aside. In this situation Peter I believe you have the moral high ground and it is good to see that you can draw such inspiration from the verses.
June 27th, 2005 at 12:11
multidimid,
I truly believe one should love their neighbours, not only the one next door but every other person. Although it could be a little difficult sometimes, this is the only way to achieve harmony.
anthraxxxx,
Thanks.
simyin,
They have removed the obstacles. It is ironic because I do not go out as often but they do and it inconvenienced them more than me.
elb,
What goes around comes around. That is the universal law. Do good and beget good. Do bad… well one deserves whatever that befalls him.
icemessenger,
That is a good opportunity for me to practice one of the two commandments of Jesus. It took a lot of patience but it was worth the effort.
Life Feel,
That is the reason why I have chosen not to hate people as far as possible. It is a heavy burden to bear. Life is better lived in happiness. Thanks for the ogonite info.
Adam,
And all this over a flower pot…
dave,
Nah, I will not do any of those. I sat that out for less than one day and they could not stand the inconvenience that was meant to annoy me. When are you coming over?
Kervin,
Some people will never admit that they are wrong even when they are. There was not even an apology for using the pot without asking me, not that I desired one. Like I mentioned earlier, I am glad I have something to guide me to be a better person. I am thankful. And thank you for your kind words.
June 27th, 2005 at 12:44
If it was me, I would have probably blown my top, given how I’m always on a short fuse. And I have really low tolerance on people using my things without asking. Yup definite recipe for disaster.
She could have just said she’s sorry and removed her chili plants. But instead she has to be egotistical.
June 27th, 2005 at 13:28
Peter,
Glad to hear that your neighbour have removed the obstacle. Can’t believe the audacity of your neighbour!! Using something NOT belonging to them and yet can scold you for it! Gosh… some ppl…
Just want to let you know that your reaction to the incident is indeed a good testimony to us all!
Keep up the good work and God bless!
A fan
June 27th, 2005 at 13:53
sometimes… or even most of the time, a neighbour can be the most difficult person to deal with. ask belacan. he once blog about his neighbour too.
peter, i admire you for being patient with your neighbour. it takes all kind to made up this world, so no point getting angry or worried over one kind, i guess.
June 27th, 2005 at 15:08
Oh my! Doesn’t a sound like a very pleasant situation. I admire your patience and integrity in dealing with such situation. I would’ve lost my temper and shouted back at her.
June 27th, 2005 at 15:18
Maybe neighbour planned to share chillies with you. Maybe she was upset that you were being selfish cause you weren’t willing to share a pot that was orignally not being used. Maybe the obstructions were placed there not intentionally.
Maybe it’s just ‘lil gullible me choosing to believe there’s a always a little good in some people… *sigh*
Nevertheless, I’m truly encouraged with ur patience in the way you handled the situaion
June 27th, 2005 at 15:54
Sigh. Why can’t people see that life is too short for such pettiness, and leave those of us who do well enough alone.
June 27th, 2005 at 16:36
another Terry… hmm…
June 27th, 2005 at 17:15
Hi Peter,
Nice blog. Inspired by yr wisdom!
Blessings,
kev…
June 27th, 2005 at 19:02
BawangMerah,
This must have be the accumulation from the time I refused to allow her to install her Astro dish on my wall. She had a whole stretch of wall where the dish could be installed but chose to have it fixed on my wall. That was in addition to another dish she already had on her side of the wall.
bikerwannabe,
Some people are simply unreasonable. We have to live with that. I have to live with this. It is part and parcel of high-rise living where if the people living in close proximity refuse to be considerate, there is bound to be tiffs and disagreements. In situations like these, tolerance is the only way to avoid unpleasant episodes.
lucia,
The Lord’s Words will always be the guiding light of my life. Getting angry would have just exacerbated the situation. You are right. It takes all kind of people to make this world. We have to accept the good and the bad and move on.
bohemianlisa,
Patience and tact have pulled me through many sticky situations where anger would have failed. Thanks.
Juan,
I do not eat chillies. I have the right to be selfish with my possessions. And the obstructions were put up after that incident.
To take another’s possession without asking is called stealing. I have offered another pot to them. I was snubbed.
Some people are just plain selfish. Still, for every shameless people like this, there are many who are nice. There are good people, but not in this one.
Marita,
This will make use treasure our friends even more. Thank God there are not many like her.
Cindy,
Kevin,
Thanks.
June 27th, 2005 at 19:46
hmmm… she doesn’t sound very smart to me.
by admitting that she used the pot merely because it was empty & u weren’t around, she’s really making herself look stupid. doesn’t she know that taking others’ things without prior permission is stealing?
so duhhh of her.
but do be careful when you next go out, peter. you never know what she may be scheming in her little gnat brain.
June 27th, 2005 at 19:57
If she has stolen your pot,
you have the right to panggil police and
tangkap her.
but usually her karma will catch up.
I have seen nasty people met very unpleasant events before.
-Life Feel
June 27th, 2005 at 21:48
Wat comes around goes around. Others will do wat’s even worst to them someday. Ruthless heartless people they are.
June 27th, 2005 at 22:07
Violence begets violence. Well, I am glad you didn’t scream back. Clearly, the “loser” here is not you but her.
June 27th, 2005 at 23:38
Hi Peter,
It is always much easier to shout back and fight even over a flower pot.
Patience in the face of abuse and insult is hard to do but I suppose that is the way to break down hostility.
More often than not, it is the abusive person who has an issue that has affected them before rather than you being the source.
Nevertheless, we are all called to sainthood and monkhood
I still like the way you handled them by taking it to the proper channel.
Cheers.
June 28th, 2005 at 11:07
That sux. Compare to Michael Ooi’s neighbours yours is the worst! Tell me if you need help
I’ll trash them!
June 28th, 2005 at 11:36
lynnee,
What to do? Suffering the indignity of being insulted is better than to make things ugly. In the end, the only person who will be embarassed by all this is the one hurling all the insults because they still have to remove the obstacles. The stupid things people for when blinded by rage. And thanks you, I will be careful too. One will never know…
Life Feel,
Go to the police over a flower pot? But I did offer her a replacement pot. I do not wish anything bad to befall her, just for her to realise her actions are wrong is enough.
Joe,
That is why we must always remember that patience and tolerance will triumph over rage.
Kenneth,
It would have been a win-win situation if she had just accepted the pot I offered huh?
twotablet,
I handed that situation with tact all because of what the faith I profess to taught me. This is so beautiful.
June 28th, 2005 at 12:11
If what they want is to make u angry, then I guess the best way to solve the problem is to ignore.
June 28th, 2005 at 14:49
YP,
You are so right and that was exactly what I did.
June 28th, 2005 at 14:56
Hi Peter,
I got your blog off PPS. Am really amazed at the amount of work you have done on the web. Hope you will keep up the good work, because evidently from the large large number of readers, we do enjoy reading what you write.
Now… with reference to your neighbours.. I suppose there are inconsiderate people everywhere. My neighbour who lives across the street always reverses his car into our house and sometimes parks it there without even asking our permission. The neighbour next to us has an irritating little dog which discharges its poo every morning near our car porch. Apparently it does the same thing to everybody on the street and one old ah ma staying a few houses down actually poured a basin of boiling water on it when it went poo-pooing at her house. *Shudders* But the dog never learns. This morning I saw it near my car tyre again… managed to shoo it away before it started doing its daily “business”. Have tried talking to the owner about it but the owner thinks its no big deal. :s
Only one way to deal with inconsiderate ppl-keep your cool.
Anyway, enough of me ranting here, you keep the good posts coming in!
miracle8
June 28th, 2005 at 15:25
i’ll confirm with you later (am thinking of bringin’ up my guitar-hehe!), cuz i’ve yet to receive my gaji. *muttering* but i’d email you in advance first la.
June 28th, 2005 at 20:08
Sheesh, what a bunch of ignoramuses! I have to admire you for your restraint. I would have long ago kee hong and do something rash.
June 28th, 2005 at 20:30
miracle8,
Thank you. Other people can be inconsiderate but we do not have to stoop to their level by retaliating. Sooner or later, they will realise their folly and be embarassed by their senseless actions.
dave,
You do that. Looking forward to spending more quality time with you.
Liz,
I have done a lot of rash things in my lifetime. Most of those did not work to my advantage. Now I know better.
June 28th, 2005 at 20:31
Hi Peter,
Got to know of your blog from the Star.Absolutely loved the effort that you have put into creating this blog and wished you all the best.Yes,continue to honour God’s commandments and He will honour you.Amen?
facetsoflife
June 29th, 2005 at 19:42
facets,
Thank you. Honour God I will.
June 30th, 2005 at 09:58
Good for u my brother! Just pray for them and may God forgive them!
Amen and praise the Lord for the faith and strength u have.
June 30th, 2005 at 12:07
Gene,
If we cannot learn to love our neighbours, things will get ugly, especially with one that is as unreasonable as mine. God bless.
July 4th, 2005 at 16:12
Hi Peter,
I know you through your uncle, Peter Lim, and was pleased to see your blog featured in Star2 recently. You’ve done a great job since I last visited in 2002
It’s unbelievable that there are neighbours like yours! As bikerwannabe mentioned, she used your pot and dare have the nerve to scold you for asking for the return of your pot! Anyway, you are not alone as my friend lived in an apartment with her front door diagonal to the neighbor’s and had to kick their shoes away (about 10-15 pairs) EACH TIME she wants to enter her house. She got so fed up one day she glued some of their shoes to the floor!
I think her neighbor must be related to yours as he started to rant and rave from 9-11 pm (and even threatened to kill her). Thankfully, my gutsy friend announced that she has just called the police (which she did) much to his horror. After this manic episode, she has moved out and is now getting to know some other neurotic new ones.
I’m impressed by your cool attitude and patience to rise above her grumbles and screaming — must be your not eating chillies and her eating forests of them! Stay cool
July 5th, 2005 at 15:58
starfirestorm,
Peter Lim is my cousin. By ignoring her rants that day, I must have annoyed her even more. In the end, she must have felt embarassed by that senseless rage. Cool heads should always prevail in situations like these because jumping into the fray would only aggravate the situation. Take care.
July 8th, 2005 at 14:06
Hey.. Peter,
Sorry to hear about your neighbour. It’s a real bummer.. when you have neighbours like that..! i recently had my fair share .. with my next door neighbour. .over nothing..! but like you .. i chose to not fight back.. and just ignore them in the future. Their lost.. as far as i am concern.
You take care.. !
July 11th, 2005 at 20:23
MrsT,
Ignoring people like these is the best solution. No need to waste energy arguing with them. You take care too.
July 19th, 2005 at 19:01
Hey Peter,
u are an example to others. The Bible says “vengence is mine” and “bless those who percecute you”. So proud of you,to be able to hold onto your temper and not retaliate. Thats the fruit of the Holy Spirit. God Bless You, brother!
August 2nd, 2005 at 15:32
hey peter,
good on you for not getting upset at the woman
that’s the way i think 
take care,
adriene
August 5th, 2005 at 00:57
Susan,
adriene,
Getting upset would not solve the problem at all. I have learnt my lesson well.
October 24th, 2005 at 02:23
A very interesting story. Of course, urban living requires that we all get along. Better to learn this sooner rather than later.