Which Is Which?

Farewell lunch at APCD
Farewell lunch at APCD – March 17, 2006.

Do I eat so that I have the energy to cook or do I cook so that I have something to eat to complete this senseless cycle?

Author: Peter Tan

Peter Gabriel Tan. Penangite residing in the Klang Valley. Blissfully married to Wuan. A LaSallian through and through. Slave to three cats. Wheelchair user since 1984. End-stage renal disease since 2017. Principal Facilitator at Peter Tan Training specialising in Disability Equality Training. Former columnist of Breaking Barriers with The Borneo Post. This blog chronicles my life, thoughts and opinions. Connect with me on Twitter and Facebook.

7 thoughts on “Which Is Which?”

  1. You eat to put nutrition into your body so you have the energy to cook and have that left over energy for the next day to complete the cycle all over again.

    It’s hard. I know. *hugs*

    This is still a mindless cycle to me.

  2. The feeling of being alone and feeling that the world around you is crumbling, it’s the hardest feeling to overcome. I know and I can only imagine what you are going through.

    But I also know this as one very good friend always reminds me, don’t ever give up on hope because when you do, you have nothing left.

    Having faith like Job isn’t the easiest task set before us but we all need faith … be it in God and in ourselves to overcome our passing clouds.

    Will continue to pray for you. Take care and sending many hugs your way.

    Real hugs? 🙂

    The feeling of not being able to take charge and manage my daily routine is wearing me down. If I can get two hours of help, I will not be spending the entire day doing that by myself. I know there is a way, there always is, but the burden is slowly but surely weighing me down.

  3. Sometimes one feels helpless when one wants to help but don’t know how. I feel that way when I read your posts. So I pray that God who is Omnipresent and Omniscient will watch over you always and show you what to do.

    Thank you.

  4. Ohh Peter I hate that you’re suffering. I pray for you every time I pray. I understand how difficult dietary restrictions are, with my own immune system disease causing me huge problems with regard to diet & not being able to get proper nutrition…plus my teeth are all broken now at the gumline from the acid erosion from my stomach atrophy. So, I can no longer chew, haven’t for several years. I’m trying to get my strength up to get them all surgically cut out.
    Is it possible for you to get vitamin shots or to drink ensure or something similar? I will most certainly continue my prayers for you. I think, if it were me, I’d consider moving, since it will make life easier for you and that will help conserve your energy. We can go anywhere physically, yet remain elsewhere in spirit & vice versa. Life, our human limitations & requirements, the day to day grind can be so much easier to deal with and our spirit & mood much improved if we can reap the benefits of a move. Anything that helps is a good thing, but I understand about how difficult departing a place with fond memories can be.
    I know you will make the right choice…with God’s guidance.
    Take very good care….and please tell Wuan her photos are always so magnificent.

    I have given my commitment to work on Independent Living projects here. I cannot even get started because I simply cannot find the time to do anything else except housework. To move would be to give up and I hate that feeling. But if I do not move, I am sure my health, especially my kidneys, will be in big trouble. At the moment, I am still undecided.

  5. My post just poofed…..AArrggh!
    Peter, I pray God will guide you in this decision. To move is not giving up or running away….Your health is absolutely the top priority and if moving frees up your time & eliminates struggles, you will have more energy to fulfill your commitments. If you do not put your health as a top priority and your kidneys should fail, all will be for naught. Your life your LIFE YOUR LIFE is topmost. I hope you will choose what will enhance your health.
    Take very good care!
    Love Koda

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