The Year That Never Came

Florist near Petaling Street
Florist near Petaling Street.
File photo dated December 26, 2005.

No matter how hard I tried not to be bothered by the commercialisation, I was invariably drawn in to the excitement, and the remorse. Beautiful bouquets, delectable pastries and mouth-watering cuisine all beckoned. The yearning to go up to the counter and ask for one of those was irresistible but it would have been an exercise in futility now.

There are several recurring occasions in the year that I wished would never come. They remind me of missed opportunities, of procrastination and of beautiful moments that I will never be able to cherish again. Now, I can only live in regret that I did not put in that extra effort to carry it through.

“Next year,” I told myself. I was confident. I had it all planned out. I had promised myself that it would be the best that I could afford. A filial child I was not until those few months. The next year would be a good time to make up for the years I had been recalcitrant and callous.

I began to understand the fragility of life then but I was still too naïve to understand that opportunity does not always come knocking twice. Next year, next week or tomorrow many never arrive again. Mine did not. She left. All that I am left with now are the emptiness of an unfulfilled task and an ache that can never be healed.

Related entry:
One Year Too Late

Author: Peter Tan

Peter Gabriel Tan. Penangite residing in the Klang Valley. Blissfully married to Wuan. A LaSallian through and through. Slave to three cats. Wheelchair user since 1984. End-stage renal disease since 2017. Principal Facilitator at Peter Tan Training specialising in Disability Equality Training. Former columnist of Breaking Barriers with The Borneo Post. This blog chronicles my life, thoughts and opinions. Connect with me on Twitter and Facebook.

4 thoughts on “The Year That Never Came”

  1. I’m sure she knows pete, hugs!

    and for a min i thot u were @ petaling street.. lunch again with wuan before u cabut back to penang

    Petaling Street? Why? I will be here till mind-June. Another bloggers meet?

  2. Yes please, Peter!

    Especially since some of us missed the last one. :p

    I would love to go to another bloggers meet. Reta?

  3. It’s hard to let go, especially if we are reminded of missed chances that never come back. I guess all we can do, is to keep on moving in the right direction to make up for all the chances we missed.And to make sure, when a chance, any chance comes knocking, that we take as best as we can. I’m still trying to do things as they come instead of procrastinating. Life just seems like a long puzzle of a lesson.

    Nike said it best: Just do it!

Comments are closed.