Frustration, anger, and a sense of helplessness and hopelessness have been hanging over me for far too long now. I cannot even remember when it began. All I know is that this gloom is fast draining the spirit out of me. It has been a while since I have gotten any proper work done. Days are frittered away, searching; for what, I know not.

Despite the despair, there is one thing that I am glad I did – putting my life into words in this blog. As I pored over the archives, I saw how much I have grown as a person and how much I have achieved what I never thought I could ever accomplish. This reminds me of my response to an interview question: “My blog is a gift to myself in the future.” Indeed it is.

It is times like this that I really need some pick-me-ups. What better place to look for them than in the chronicles of my life? Again and again, as I read about similar episodes over the past three years and how I prevailed over them, I am convinced that this too shall soon pass. It will not be easy but is not impossible. Beyond doubt, The Digital Awakening is one of the best gifts I have ever given to myself.

Caryn is a first-year medical student. She blogs at Whatever, Wherever, Whenever, Whoever…. When I told her that I have been feeling down lately, she shared with me a beautiful Cantonese song. There are some pretty sensible advice there. What more, she even translated the lyrics into English and put it up in her blog. How sweet. Thanks for listening, Caryn.

Naziaty Yaacob who blogs at Born in Bentong has posted an entry titled Perbuatan mengetepikan orang kurang upaya dari masyarakat. This is a refreshing change to see disability issues written in Malay.

Peer Counseling

The biggest obstacle for disabled persons is not the environmental obstacles that they have to tackle outside. Rather, it is the psychological barriers within themselves that they have to overcome in order to move on in life. Many are left with tattered dignity caused by years of social oppression. The emotional scarring runs deep with no way of being healed.

It is not surprising that through incessant conditioning over time they have come to accept discrimination as the norm. What is even more astonishing is that many leaders of the disability movement perpetrate this kind of thought, either through ignorance or for reasons only they themselves know.

In the practice of Independent Living, the very first thing that a disabled person goes through is Peer Counseling. It derived its origins from re-evaluation counseling and co-counseling. This is basically two persons taking turns to play the role of counselor and client with an equal amount of time allocated to each.

The goals of Peer Counseling fulfil the fundamental need to reaffirm disabled persons’ status as equal members of society. It is a simple 3-step process – recovery of self-worth, rebuilding human relationships and social reformation.

It works on the premise that disabled persons possess the ability to resolve challenges given the opportunity. They are encouraged to recognize patterns of distress caused by oppression, explore ways to break those patterns, recover from it and move on to lead a more fulfilling life. Through that, they will also be aware of their needs and rights, and actively advocate for it.

Peer Counseling has been used effectively to empower disabled persons in the USA, Canada, Japan, Korea and Thailand, among others. Many have gone on to become leaders and advocates in the disability movement. Even more have found new meaning in life, despite their severe disabilities and are practicing Independent Living after undergoing Peer Counseling.

In June, two resource persons from the Human Care Association in Japan conducted a workshop to train peer counselors. It was organised by the Jabatan Kebajikan Masyarakat Malaysia, Japan International Cooperation Agency and the Malaysian Independent Living Initiative Group.

Currently, Peer Counseling courses are being conducted in Penang and Kuala Lumpur. It has been effective in assisting disabled persons realise that they have the ability to take responsibility for managing their own lives. In time, they too will be able to advocate for their own needs and rights just like their counterparts in other countries.

The pit is a horrendous place to be in. That is where I am now, stuck fast in a quagmire, not sinking further but unable to escape from its gluey clutches either. It is not that things are coming apart for me. On the contrary, the pieces are falling into place just as I would have wanted. My predicament is that all fell onto my lap at the same time in a tangled and chaotic mass. They are all there for my taking as soon as I can unravel them. All that is holding me down is the irony of getting everything that I had wished for.