The changing of seasons is getting into me again. The air is dry. Words are becoming blurry. My nostrils feel parched. Here I sit overwhelmed by lethargy wondering morosely what else I can do to overcome this. I have been hydrating my skin with water. There is the temptation to run the air conditioner. I have been drinking more than usual too. No thanks to that, there is the urge to empty my bladder more frequently. Chinese New Year is definitely just around the corner. The symptoms are unmistakable.

This is one of those days that I want to leave all my cares behind, sit back and savour the serenity of the moment but there are so many things swirling in my mind right now. Eighteen days into 2008 and I suddenly realise that many things have changed with more to come.

Being married comes with responsibilities not only to the wife but also her family. For the past five years, Wuan was all the family I had. Now that our marital status has changed, her family has become mine too. What is required of the son-in-law? What are my duties, especially during auspicious occasions such as the Chinese New Year?

The one thing I do know is that I have to give away ang paus this year. That is the tradition. I collected my last Chinese New Year ang pau last year. My years of merrily accumulating a small fortune have come to an end. Now is payback time. There are already hints of what is expected from me. I hope the new notes that I have changed are enough.

These are changes that need time for me to get used to. They mark another few milestones in my passage through life. I am learning. I thought my Chinese New Years will never be the same again since Mum died. The last four years were different. Now that I have a family of my own, I wonder how it will be like.

I do not know which is more heart-rending - losing Milo so unexpectedly or Frosty coming into the house searching room to room and listening to him mewing in futility for his sister.

Wuan found Milo lying by the road outside the house this morning. She was bleeding from the mouth and lifeless. Milo was the only female in the litter, and also the naughtiest. Despite knowing that she was not allowed into the house, she would sneak in at every available opportunity and hid under the sofa. It was only last night that I held her for the first time on my lap and patted her. I could hear her purring away. The one thing that she liked to do was to jump onto my wheelchair’s under-seat cargo net and hitch a ride into the house. Smart ball of fur that one. We shall miss her dearly. Rest in peace dear Milo.