Last night, I played the guitar. There were a few awkward moments in the beginning. I have not touched a guitar in 24 years, not since I suffered spinal cord injury. I gingerly held it as if it would crumble if I gripped too tightly. The scent of varnished wood assaulted my nostrils and brought back memories of a time I thought I could never relive again.

“Will I be able to play again?” I wondered.

It has been such a long time ago. I ran my fingers along its curves. Yes, that was one finely crafted piece of art that I could not afford then. Like I always did whenever I had a guitar in my hands, I would start with the C chord to make sure the strings were properly tuned. My fingers were stiff. My strumming awkward. I was holding my favourite plectrum. I like it soft. I strummed a few more times. The strings and I slowly became one. I was ecstatic. My once clawed fingers glided fluidly across the frets.

I never thought I could play the guitar again. But there I was strumming – unleashing two decades of frustrations for not being able to make music out of it. Never mind it was a little out of beat. I was a little out of beat previously anyway. Nothing has changed. I hope it never will. I felt liberated. Did I say I was ecstatic? For the first time in a long while, I sang and sang I did. I surprised myself even. Now I sit here beaming from ear to ear wishing it was all real. It was exhilarating while it lasted. I certainly do not mind having more of such dreams.

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Disabled people are funny people – funny in an ironic way. On one hand, we are asking that our fundamental rights be respected. We demand for equalization in opportunities. We want to be treated equally. On the other hand, we are also demanding for privileges. We want to enjoy discounts on everything – bus fares, phone bills, road tax and toll charges among others.

We should realise that one cannot see both sides of the coin at the same time. It is either heads or tails. If we want to be treated as equals, then we should be playing our part as equals. We cannot have the cake and eat it too. If we want the same services or facilities that other people are enjoying, then we should be prepared to pay the same price that everyone else is paying.

Rights and privileges are not interchangeable. We must understand the difference between the two. Privileges are things that are given out of goodwill and can be taken back at the wink of an eye. Rights are inalienable. It is not something that can be bestowed or revoked at whim. And rights must come first before anything else. That must be the priority in all disability advocacy activities.

At a time when our rights to accessible built environment and public transport in Malaysia is virtually non-existent, it is rather disappointing to hear my peers fussing over the 50% discount on bus and LRT fares provided by RapidKL to disabled people. By asking for such petty handouts, we are discarding our dignity to portray ourselves as objects of charity, pity and sympathy. Is that the impression that we really want to propagate about what disabled people really want from society?

That was exactly what happened at a meeting organised by the Malaysian Confederation of the Disabled (MCD) last Saturday to facilitate a survey conducted by the Malaysian Institute of Transport (MITRANS) based at the Universiti Teknologi MARA (UiTM), Shah Alam. The survey was to collect data on the public transportation needs of disabled people for the Master Plan on Public Transportation Policy that was commissioned by the Ministry of Transport.

Instead of focusing on the importance of equal access which is the main stumbling block in mainstreaming disability, some participants were bent in complaining about not getting the discount on bus and train fares. Please lar people, when tens of thousands of disabled people still cannot use the public transport, why are we talking about discounts? Have we become so petty that we only care for ourselves without a concern for those who are in situations worse off than ours? I am disappointed that people I regard as my peers in disability advocacy have lost sight of the big picture. We have truly missed the forest for the trees.

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With the fuel price increase, my friend Robert and I wanted to take a bus to Suria KLCC two Saturdays ago. We wanted to avoid driving there like we always did to save on petrol and the exorbitant parking fees. We stay in Pandan Perdana which is about a 15-minute journey by car from the landmark. We knew that RapidKL buses serving our housing estate were inaccessible but we wanted to try our luck to see if anything has changed since. The following two pictures tell a compelling story that disabled people all over Malaysia are facing.

Photo by Wuan.

Photo by Wuan.

Without an accessible public transport system, most of us are stuck at home watching the world pass by. We have to miss out on educational and employment opportunities. Our social life is limited to people who come to visit us at home which is far and few in between. We are unable to participate effectively in social, cultural, religious and political activities. We are like katak di bawah tempurung (frog living under the coconut shell) not due to our own doing but because our needs are ignored and are often delegated to the lowest of priorities. If nothing is being done to address this issue, disabled people will still be in this deplorable situation when Malaysia becomes a developed nation by 2020 which is just a short 12 years away.

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