Mum’s 10th Death Anniversary

My mother’s 10th death anniversary passed by without much fanfare last Saturday. No, the passage of time had not diluted the memory of her. It is just that I made a conscious effort to not observe it in a significant way.

Death anniversaries are reminders of the end of a life, the loss of a loved one and a time of great sadness. I have gone past the stage of profound grieving and sense of loss. Instead, I am channelling those emotions into an endeavour, which is still under wraps, that I hope will be productive.

In the place of grief and sense of loss, acceptance and realisation have taken over. For every birth, there is death. Everyone has to go through this cycle. I had lost loved ones. I had grieved. Now, I have moved on. That is how I want my loved ones to live after I am gone – not to grieve too much but move on as soon as possible. I believe my mother would want me to do the same.

Author: Peter Tan

Peter Gabriel Tan. Penangite residing in the Klang Valley. Blissfully married to Wuan. A LaSallian through and through. Slave to three cats. Wheelchair user since 1984. End-stage renal disease since 2017. Principal Facilitator at Peter Tan Training specialising in Disability Equality Training. Former columnist of Breaking Barriers with The Borneo Post. This blog chronicles my life, thoughts and opinions. Connect with me on Twitter and Facebook.

One thought on “Mum’s 10th Death Anniversary”

  1. I can really feel you, Pete. I just lost my dad last month whom I didn’t have the chance to spend my lifetime with him. I come from a single parent family and paternal love was very minimal and I missed those deeply. I will continue to mourn from time to time whenever his image comes to mind. Yes, life still have to go on coz the bills keep coming in. It is tough, it sucks and it is endless. At least, I can now appreciate and prioritise whats impartant in my live — my family and loved ones.

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