Do not give dogs what is holy; and do not throw your pearls in front of pigs, or they may trample them and then turn on you and tear you to pieces.
(Matthew 7:6, NJB)

When logic fails and minds have already decided what that is wrong is right, I can only sit back and appreciate the wisdom of Jesus. There is a meaning deeper than perceived here but the gist of the parable is loud and clear: Do not waste anything of substance on those who do not know how to appreciate it.

Of late, blogging and reading blogs have become a luxury. Time is at a premium. Much of it was spent on travelling, meetings, housekeeping, cooking, washing up afterwards and laundry. Apart from that time had to be allocated for administrative work such as replying to emails and drawing up plans and strategies for the projects that I am currently working on.

After all those, there is very little time left to myself. I have never been so occupied before. Most nights, I hit the pillow exhausted and fall asleep almost immediately. Noon naps have also become a rare indulgence. Those leisurely days of the past are gone. I had prayed for a purpose. It has been granted. I have no cause to complain. In fact, there is this minor sense of contentment for being able to see the direction that I need to take to achieve the goals that I have set.

What I miss most are those private moments of communion with God. Even prayers have to be rushed. It is just not right. It has been a while since I have spent quiet time contemplating on the spiritual aspects of my life. This is important for me to continue doing what I have begun. More than often, I have drawn strength and wisdom from the Scriptures when I am faced with obstacles. The road ahead is still long. I definitely will need guidance every step of the way. I need to go back to the root that brought about this wonderful journey. I need to go back to God.

After the storms of the previous two weeks that had lashed mercilessly from all sides, three pleasant things happened today. The first was a question that Pak Idrus asked in his blog, In Passing – Malaysian, that had me nodding in agreement. That one sentence provided much food for thought. We have met briefly at the PPS 2nd Anniversary Bash. This is what was written in Blogging With Wisdom:

What is freedom if there are no peace and harmony in this country…

I am not at liberty to divulge the other two pleasant surprises yet. Both were phone calls that brought uplifting news. One has been a two-year dream that is coming to fruition. The other is no less important. Both are directions that will converge into a single path that will lead to what I have planned to do. Life is great. God has been merciful. Friends have been supportive. I have many reasons to be thankful for.

It felt great to be able to fulfil a vow, especially one that was made in earnest. Twenty five months was such a long time ago but I will never forget the evening when I prayed from the bottom of my heart to a God I hardly knew. I pleaded. I bargained. I cajoled. If Mum got well again, I would dedicate my entire life to serving Him. Man proposes, God disposes. He did not heal her. He took her away from me instead. Nevertheless, I was greatly consoled by the gift of a vision, one that showed Mum was no longer in agony but in absolute bliss. That gift was worth more than anything I can ever possess. That was to be the turning point of my life.

My conviction in the existence of God has never ceased since. I have become a follow of Jesus. In His teachings, I have found a purpose and a direction. My life has never been more different than it has been the past two years since my baptism. This way of life is one I have been searching for all my life. I believe I am a better person now because I have been touched by the grace of God. There is no looking back now. The only way to contentment is to keep His commandments and to live a Christlike life. This I attempt to achieve in all the things that I do.

This morning, I was given the opportunity to make good the vow I made two years ago. Vincent, one of the catechists of the cathedral, invited me to share my journey of faith and my life with a group of youths aged between sixteen and seventeen who will be receiving their Sacrament of Confirmation in October. Shared I did and I hope I have contributed my part in making a difference. These are the people who will be building the church that Jesus founded long after I am gone. I pray they will take Christianity to greater heights.

This, I hope, will be the beginning of many more opportunities for me to share and spread the Word of God. This is one vow that I will not only discharge once but one that I will keep fulfilling as long as I am able. I have received more than I have given. I have been blessed. I continue to be blessed. It is only right that I share this wonderful experience so that others too may discover the greatness and the mercy of the Almighty.

Yanti has left. She was sniffling the whole morning, her heart heavy at having to leave. She was given the liberty to upkeep the apartment as she saw fit. She did a good job. I was given a two year reprieve after Mum passed away. Now that I no longer have the luxury of a domestic maid for the daily chores, I am determined to make this work. This is going to be my greatest challenge yet. I will be cooking my own food and doing my own laundry from now on. My neighbours Soon Leong and his wife have offered to help clean the apartment on a weekly basis. That should lighten my workload considerably. With their assistance and other neighbours who have been helping me with my grocery shopping, including Peter, this feat can be pulled off without much hassle. God is my strength � that is what Gabriel, my baptismal name, means. From Him, I draw strength to persevere. By His grace, I am confident that I can succeed. A new chapter has begun.