The Star - October 24, 2005.

Debt of gratitude

As blogging gains popularity in the country, a new trend is fast emerging – blogging for charity. MICHAEL CHEANG talks to disabled blogger Peter Tan about one such effort on his blog.

TWO years ago, they helped ease his dying mother’s final days, and today, wheelchair-bound blogger Peter Tan is expressing his gratitude to the Penang Hospice-At-Home-Programme by sacrificing something he holds dear – his trademark long hair which he has kept for almost three years.

Tan, who is paralysed from the chest down following a diving accident 21 years ago, has pledged to shave his head to raise RM5,000 for the Hospice programme. Hospice helped care for his mother Theresa Lim in 2003 when she was stricken with chronic lymphocytic leukaemia.

Being wheelchair-bound, Tan had trouble caring for her, and Hospice sent a palliative care nurse three days a week during her final month to check on her and provide her with all the medical and nursing care she needed. Those visits made a difference in easing her pain, and also made Tan’s job of caring for his mother a lot easier.

Besides caring for his mother, Hospice’s staff also helped Tan. “I developed a pressure sore on my buttocks from long hours of sitting up tending to mum, and they dressed the sore too,” Tan recalled.

“I am forever grateful to Penang Hospice for coming into our lives at a time when we needed help most. When my mother was still alive, she used to tie my hair into ponytails for me. So it means a lot to me. However, giving away three years of hair will not be sufficient to give back to Hospice what it has given us.

Peter Tan: ‘I am forever grateful to Penang Hospice for coming into our lives at a time when we needed help most.’

“After my mum passed away, I vowed that I would do something for Hospice so that it could help other people who are in the same situation. However, disadvantaged as I am, I could not think of anything else except to shave my head to raise funds for them.”

Tan’s aptly titled Hair for Hospice campaign was announced on his blog, The Digital Awakening (www.petertan.com), earlier this month.

At the time of writing, Hair for Hospice has collected more than 50% of the RM5,000 target, and when the target is reached Tan will not be the only blogger who will be sporting the Kojak look. Four others – including one female blogger – have also pledged to go bald for the cause.

Tan’s effort is just one instance of an emerging trend in the rapidly growing blogging community in Malaysia – blogging for charity.

Through their vast network of blogs (also known as web-logs, or online journals), bloggers in Malaysia have been involved in several charitable activities, one of the most prominent being the worldwide Blogathon event on Aug 6.

On that day, bloggers all over the world stayed up for 24 hours to blog every 30 minutes non-stop to raise money for various charities. In Malaysia, the participants for the Blogathon were widespread and diverse in the charities they were blogging for.

Tan himself was involved with a collaborative blog called Bloggers are Morons, along with five other prominent bloggers, which eventually raised RM5,085.72 for Hospice. Another group of bloggers, which included young author John Ling and freelance writer Yvonne Foong, blogged to raise money for the Eden Handicap Service Centre.

Incidentally, Foong herself is the subject of another blogger charity campaign. Foong, who is a patient of Neurofibromatosis (an illness of the nervous system with no known cure), is raising money for her own medical fund by selling T-shirts through her blog (www.yvonnefoong.com), together with the help of several other bloggers.

To learn more about Tan’s campaign and for more information on how to donate to Hair for Hospice, go to his blog post at www.petertan.com/blog/index.php/2005/10/06/hair-for-hospice.

It is my turn now and I really do not know what I should be blogging about for the next four hours. I do not usually post more than one entry per day. Since this is all for the Hospice-at-Home-Programme, I shall put up a photo of Rumah Hospice and talk a little about them.

When Mum and I were given four options for her nursing care because I could no longer look after her, Rumah Hospice was one of the choices suggested. They have a team of nurses and medical officers looking after patients staying there. It is an old government bungalow located off Jalan Air Itam and just beside the Methodist Boys School.

Like my first visit there two years ago, my second visit recently brought back many memories of how difficult it was for terminally-ill patients and their families to cope with the situation. One can never get used to accepting the impending death of a loved one, no matter how hard one tries or how prepared one is.

The moment I saw one of the patients lying in bed, a feeding tube sticking out from her nose, her body reduced to skin and bones, my heart sank. I almost cried. There is nothing more anyone can do for these patients except to make them comfortable. One of the important aspects of palliative care is pain management. Cancer patients almost always suffer from pain. As long as that part is dealt with sufficiently, the other symptoms will be more manageable somewhat.

Mum was prescribed dihydrocodiene tartrate for her pain. However, the dosage needed to be adjusted to because I wanted to keep her relatively pain-free but lucid as well. The Hospice helped us in that aspect and for the first few weeks that Mum was under the care of the hospice, she was actually improving in vigour and spirits. It was virtually impossible for me to take Mum back to the hospital every time there was a need to review her dosage because she had become very immobile and I never could have managed it by myself.

That was how much the Hospice has helped us during those times of extreme need. And that is why I believe in their work. For all that they had done for Mum and me, I will forever be grateful. I am delighted that my fellow bloggers share my views and have come together to wholeheartedly support this effort to raise funds for the Hospice-at-Home-Programme for the Penang Branch of the Malaysia National Cancer Society. Please donate generously because that will go a long way towards supporting the Hospice in helping cancer patients and their families who are in dire need of palliative care and support.

* This entry was posted at Bloggers are Morons for Blogathon 2005.

That would have been a beautiful and memorable parting, no matter how poignant and reluctant it would have been. But she left quietly. No parting words, no good byes, no farewell kisses, no motherly hugs. She left, taking with her a big part of me. And then there was only an immense emptiness that ached for the soothing comfort only a mother could provide, one that will take many years to heal, or perhaps never.

Out there somewhere, some people will never live to see another sunrise again. At the same time, some are counting down to their last sunset. Those are one of the most agonizing times anyone can ever go through for those that are terminally ill and their family as well. Like Paul, I could never have imagined how depressing it was to see a loved one slowly wasting away until I had to look after Mum.

She suffered chronic lymphocytic leukaemia, an incurable blood disorder where her body produced large quantities of malformed white blood cells. During her last two months, she was in much pain when the cancer cells began to invade her bones too. When I saw her writhing in pain, I wished I could ease some of that by suffering it on her behalf. Painkillers were not totally effective. The ache began to set in long before the next dose was due. The sense of hopelessness was simply distressing.

Fortunately, Mum had the privilege to be enrolled under the Penang Hospice-At-Home-Programme. Karen, the nurse charged with Mum’s case, would drop in to check on her several times a week. It was a great relief to know that should I need nursing and medical advice, I could always check with her. The most important aspect of this was that Mum was accorded the dignity to live out the remaining days of her life in the comfort of home while getting the essential care that she needed. I was truly grateful I had this kind of support in looking after Mum. It would have been very difficult had I had to go through it alone.

When Suanie asked for my suggestion on the charity to support for Blogathon 2005, the first and only organisation that came to mind was the Hospice-At-Home-Programme. No act can be nobler than easing the final journey of the terminally ill cancer patient like what this group of people are doing. After all that I went through with Mum, I wholeheartedly embrace and support this concept of caring. I hope all of you who are reading this will feel the same way. This organisation functions mostly on donations from the public. They need your support to continue with what they are doing effectively. Please pledge and donate generously so that someone somewhere waiting for his last sunset will have an easier passage to his final destination.

* This entry was posted at Bloggers are Morons.