This is the reason why I have not started my diet log. The Chinese New Year is the only time I cook the Hou Si Fatt Choy (Braised Dried Oysters with Black Moss). Most of the ingredients used were probably those that I should either avoid or eat very little of. Today is the last instance I am eating this dish. I had them for lunch and dinner. Each mouthful was savoured to the fullest - the taste and the aroma conscientiously saved in my memory. From tomorrow onwards, my food will be bland. That will buy my kidneys more time. That I willingly do to sustain my renal health.

The fish maw soup is another of my favourite festive cuisine. I have modified the recipe to suit my current dietary needs. Mum had bought this piece of fish maw two years ago. I have been breaking it into smaller pieces to cook soups over the months. I do not know if fish maw is something I can indulge in too. Perhaps, when the time comes to cook the last portion, I will enjoy it unhurriedly like I did the Hou Si Fatt Choy.

Hou Si Fatt Choy (Braised Dried Oysters with Black Moss)

Ingredients:
8 dried oysters, soak in 1� cup warm water for 1 hour
38 g black moss, soak in 1 cup warm water for 30 minutes and drain
300g roasted pork, cut into 1 cm thick portions
6 shitake mushrooms, soak in enough water to cover and leave overnight

2 tbsp oyster sauce
1 tsp thick soy sauce
1/2 tsp sugar
1 tsp corn flour
1 cup water
a dash of sesame seed oil

Heat oil and saute garlic, shallots and ginger until fragrant. Add oyster and fry for another 1 minute. Add shitake mushrooms and roasted pork and stir fry for another minute. Add the sauces and water, 1 cup each of the water the oysters and mushrooms were soaked in and let simmer for about 30 minutes. If the gravy becomes too thick, add water. Add the black moss and simmer for another 10 minutes before turning off heat. Serve with rice.

I forgot to buy Chinese cabbage and it was not added. The cabbage would have made the gravy tastier.

My dietary plan.

Before meeting Jinny at the appointed time yesterday, I went to see the dietician again. Miss Saw, the dietician at the Lam Wah Ee Hospital, explained to me in detail what my 5 daily meals should be like. My ration of three exchanges of protein for the day could be something like one portion for breakfast, one for lunch and one for breakfast or one and one half for lunch and dinner respectively. Meat protein is preferred over soy-based products as it is easier for the body to absorb. It may be difficult initially but I think I can manage eventually. It is just a matter of getting used to and adapting my daily routine around it.

I also decided to collect the Detrusitol SR since I was at the hospital. Mr. Wong, the pharmacist, had already packed them for me and I need not wait in queue to pay. It was all a breeze. The extreme side effects that I experienced could be due to many other factors and that day could be an exception. I have not felt that lousy since. My medication is getting more expensive - RM249 per month. Hopefully, the condition of my kidneys will stabilise at the current levels. It is going to be a drain on my finances should I need even more expensive drugs.

The extreme side effects of the Detrusitol SR are kicking in. My eyes are dry. I keep blinking and squinting. My mouth is dry too. There is discomfort in the abdomen. I am putting off getting the next three months’ supply from the hospital. No point spending RM747 for medicine that I cannot use nor return. Hopefully this discomfort is temporary; until my body gets used to the drug. I am so depressed now.

Detrusitol SR 4mg

There was a change in his demeanour from the usual. I thought he was perhaps thinking about his other patients’ problems.

“�Have you been taking your Detrusitol?”

I mumbled a soft “Yes.”

“How often do you catheterise?”

“Every four hours.”

“Do you have any problems?”

I told him about the fever prior to the bloggers meet in KL.

“When you have a fever next time, come in for a culture. One day of infection is enough to wipe out your kidneys.”

I could only nod. I had a feeling that what he was to say next would not be good. He went on to say that my creatinine had shot up to 262 umol/l from the 180s. The normal threshold is around 100 umol/l. I was on the way to acute renal failure and he was really not happy with the figures. My kidneys, however, were not swollen, which meant that the intermittent catheterisation and Detrusitol are effective. I have to see the dietician again for my diet to be evaluated and revised. My protein intake of two servings per meal has to be reduced to one and one half. That is like cutting down to 75% from the two matchbox-sized portion of meat that I am allowed now.

“If that doesn�t work, you�ll have to go back to see what Dr. Liong can do for you further,” the dietician said.

This calls for another drastic change in lifestyle and dietary intake patterns. The dietician has also advised me to keep a diet log to track accurately what I have eaten. My medication was also changed. I am now to take one dose of 4mg Detrusitol SR just before bed. A one-month supply costs RM249 and it is supposed to be for the long-term. Detrusitol is prescribed for overactive bladder which may result in a reflux of urine back into the kidneys. I am still digesting this sudden assail of bad news. Hopefully the next review, which has been changed to quarterly from half yearly, will show better results.

Anxiety always precedes when I have to travel alone. One thousand and one things can happen that will render me helpless in an unfamiliar surrounding - Murphy�s Law. The last time I did that was almost six years ago when I went to meet Wuan and my IRC buddies for the first time. Nothing untoward happened. MAS have well-trained staff and facilities to handle people with disabilities like me who are travelling unaccompanied. Taxi drivers are no less helpful when I needed to get around. Generally, people are kind to me and offer to help but the fear still lingers.

I guess I have mollycoddled myself too much by only doing things within my own sphere of comfort. Can I survive outside that zone? I believe I can. I will just have to brace my nerves and do it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. That said, I have confirmed my trip to Kuala Lumpur on January 8. Wuan will be picking me up from Sentral Station. I will be there for a couple of weeks. First in the agenda is of course to spend some quality time with Wuan and then to meet Marita and Grace the following weekend. I would love to meet other bloggers too. Date, time and venue are still tentative. I will update again when everything is confirmed. Suggestions are welcomed.