Six Years of Loving

Six years ago today, I made a journey from Penang to Kuala Lumpur alone. Every step of the way was crammed with anxieties. I had no inkling what laid before me. Getting to the airport was easy. Mum and Aunty Ah See were there to send me off. Beyond that, it was all a new world to me. I have never travelled by myself since being disabled. Whenever I had to go out, I was escorted by people who knew how to handle me.

Nevertheless, MAS had a staff of trained ground and air crew who were adept in handing a disabled passenger. From boarding the plane right up to having to carry me down from the plane at Subang, they served me with a smile. Subang at that time was already operating without the aerobridge.

William, Cynthia and Eric were there to pick me up. We had a lunch of chicken rice near Bukit Bintang Plaza. They dropped me off at the Legend Hotel afterwards. Rosalyn had booked a disabled room for me there with special rates plus breakfasts for the duration of my stay. Being in that room, it suddenly dawned on me that I had travelled all the way from Penang and I was truly alone in that room. The silence was deafening. I have never been in a place as quiet as that.

At around seven in the evening, there was a knock on the door. I took in a deep breath but that did not slow down my rapidly beating heart. The door knob was rather tight I had problems turning it and pulling the door inwards to open it. Several attempts later, the unmistakable voice from outside said, “Move back. Let me open it.”

I reversed my wheelchair, the door opened and there stood before me the woman who had been chatting with me in the Internet Relay Chat (IRC) and over the phone for the past three months. My heart beat even faster. My chest felt tight. I mumbled a customary “Hi” and took a good look at her. A great exhilaration rose in me as our eyes met for the first time. Trying hard to suppress the excitement of meeting the woman who had so enthralled me, I managed to hold back from smiling too gleefully. The emotion at that instance was just extraordinary. Those few unforgettable seconds when our eyes met and our souls connected will be permanently embedded in my mind.

Wuan, thank you for six years of love, devotion and never-ending encouragement. My life has been enriched because of you. You have filled my days with nothing but thoughts of happiness. You have instilled in me a sense of belonging. You gave me the confidence to climb back up every time I stumbled and fell. You have been unwavering in your support. You have been steadfast in your affection. There has never been and there never will be one like you. May we be blessed with many more six years like these. I love you.

One Tender Moment

It was nearly 2 am. The bedside lamp bathed the room in an orangey hue. I watched as she rubbed the moisturiser onto the dry peeling skin on my legs. I have little sensation there. Everytime she applied the moisturiser, there was a faint tingling and I knew some parts of my leg no longer looked dry and chapped, the peeling bits masked by the thick cream temporarily.

When she had finished with both legs, she came close and rested her head on my shoulder. The moisturiser’s sweet fragrance wafted in the air, intermingling with the odour of the cold from the air conditioner.

In that affectionate instance, I asked her, “How long have we been together?”

She started counting, “1998… 99… Six years.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Why do you ask?” She turned her head, gazed into my eyes and then snuggled closer.

We both knew the answer. That was something that we do occasionally to reassure ourselves that this is all for real. I smiled at her and looked into the distance lazily again, counting my blessings and all the love that she had showered on me.

The Beauty of Wuan

Love is when she wakes up at 0545 every morning to cook your meals before going to work. Love is when she goes out of her way to get you your favourite hawker food. Love is when she sees something nice she thinks of you. Love is when she stands steadfast by you while everyone else forsakes you. Love is when she tells you she loves you and you see the honesty and passion in her eyes. Love is when she does not mind the inconveniences of going places with you on your wheelchair. Love is when she disregards the rude stares from strangers because she is with a disabled man. Love is when she knows that she will have to sacrifice a lot more than she will ever get from this relationship and she loves you all the same. Love is when she holds the sky up for you as the world around you is falling apart. Love is when she is willing to do anything to make you happy. Love is when she is the person you know for sure you want to grow old together with. Love is beautiful when it is with Wuan. Happy Valentine’s Day darling.