The Digital Awakening » Chinese wedding banquet

Wedding Tea Ceremony – My Cousins Part 2

Peter Tan — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 07:26:11 +0000

It is true when Harcharan said that I have many cousins. Those at the wedding banquet were only a fraction of them. I did not invite the majority of my paternal first cousins as they reside out of the island and I did not want to put them through the hassle. Besides, the restaurant would not be able to accomodate all if they “gave face” and attended. A restaurant with twice the seating capacity of Starview Restaurant would barely suffice.

Apart from my paternal and maternal first cousins, Wuan and I also served tea to one of my second cousins and two god-daughters of my maternal uncle and aunt respectively. The god-daughters are considered cousins with no less seniority in the family. In putting up these wedding tea ceremony entries, I got to know many relatives again and understand how we are related. In many ways, I am glad we had the tea ceremony. Someone mentioned that we are only able to gather many relatives at the same place and time only during weddings and funerals. Sad but true. I am glad we got together for a wedding this time.

Maternal cousin and wife.

Maternal second cousin and wife.

2nd maternal aunt’s god-daughter and husband.

Elder maternal uncle’s god-daughter.

Wedding Tea Ceremony – Wuan’s Sister and My Cousins Part 1

Peter Tan — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 10:43:46 +0000

The traditional Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony is usually conducted in the morning when the groom goes to the bride’s house to bring her back to the in-law’s residence for the tea ceremony. Wuan and I did not go through that as it would have been too much hassle with me in Penang and her parent’s house in Ipoh. The other way is for the bride to be picked up from a service apartment somewhere in the vicinity of the groom’s residence. Instead, we opted to conduct the wedding tea ceremony at the restaurant just before the banquet.

The usual way to conduct the tea ceremony is to serve the parents first followed by uncles, aunts, siblings and finally cousins who are older than the bride and groom, in that order. I was advised that we do not have to do it that way as it would drag on for too long if we have to go by seniority. What we did was to serve tea to the relatives as they arrive.

The photographs in this wedding tea ceremony series are not in chronological order. I have rearranged them according to their seniority in the family. On my mother’s side of the family, brothers and cousins are addressed as “Ah Hia” which is “brother” in Hokkien and Teochew. The wives are addressed as “Ah Soh”. Cousin sisters are “Ah Ji” and their husbands “Ji Hu”.

Kah Che and Che Fu – Wuan’s sister and brother-in-law.

My paternal cousin.

Maternal cousin and wife.

Maternal cousin’s wife.

Maternal cousin and wife.

Wedding Tea Ceremony – Mum’s Cousins

Peter Tan — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 13:14:36 +0000

Serving tea during the traditional wedding tea ceremony is known as “pang teh” (Hokkien) or “chum char” (Cantonese). After serving tea to Wuan’s parents and my parent’s siblings, who are senior members of the family, we did the same for my mother’s cousins whom I also address as “ah kiu” and “ah yee” (uncles and aunts in Hakka).

Hakka, Hokkien and Cantonese dialects were used interchangably during the tea ceremony. People in Penang predominantly speak Hokkien. My maternal relatives, many of whom are from Balik Pulau are Hakkas. Wuan speaks Cantonese only and I have learnt to speak Cantonese at a young age. Dad is a Teochew but I can hardly speak a word of it. But we understood each other very well despite the different dialects used.

Kim Yee – Mum’s paternal cousin.

Chai Kiu – Mum’s paternal cousin.

Soon Kiu and Soon Kiu Meh – Mum’s paternal cousin and wife.

Ngah Kiu and Ngah Kiu Meh – Mum’s maternal cousin and wife.

Cecelia Yee and Yee Chong – Mum’s maternal cousin and husband.

Wedding Tea Ceremony – The Elders

Peter Tan — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 13:09:09 +0000

Wuan and I had registered our civil marriage in 2007. Many of my relatives in Penang do not know of that. The wedding banquet held recently was to bring our relatives from both sides of the family together, inform them of our marriage and personally introduce ourselves to them. The highlight of the occasion was the traditional wedding tea ceremony that preceded the dinner.

Wuan’s parents who are also my parents now.

Ah Lan Ee – I grew up eating her cooking.

Chit Chek and Chit Chim – 7th paternal uncle and his wife.

Tua Ku and Tua Kim – Eldest maternal uncle and his wife.

Jee Ee – 2nd maternal aunt.

Say Han Ee and Ah Tneoh – Youngest maternal aunt and her husband.

The Post-Wedding Banquet Post

Peter Tan — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 10:36:27 +0000

Wuan has gone back to work. All outstanding matters for the wedding banquet have been settled. The joint photo exhibition with Victor Chin has been up and running for more than one week already. Things are back to normal, well almost. Today is the first time in many weeks that I can sit back, relax and gather my thoughts coherently. So many people to thank; so many photos to sort. More on this and some others in the next few entries. For now, I just want to enjoy the serenity and peace of mind.