Peter Tan – The Digital Awakening
Living One Day At A Time
This is how much urine my body produces in 24 hours. In a short while, I will be sending this to the UMMC laboratory for processing and have my blood sample taken for renal function and creatinine clearance tests. After that, I will be at the Radiology Department to have an ultrasound done on my kidneys. These are to determine the extent of my renal impairment.
Today is a Sunday. Wuan and I are home. It is unusual for us to stay home on weekends, especially in this blistering heat. We usually hand around shopping complexes because these places are accessible and best of all, they are air-conditioned. However, we preferred to stay home because I have to collect my urine throughout the day. During my last routine medical check up at the Rehabilitation Clinic in UMMC, the doctors wanted to do 24-hour urine protein creatinine, renal function and creatinine clearance tests to determine the function of my kidneys.
So here I am collecting urine since 7am and storing it a container provided by the hospital laboratory. I was also schedule for an ultrasound of the kidneys just after I deliver the container tomorrow and provide a blood specimen for the serum creatinine test. We decided that it will be inconvenient to be carrying the large container with us when we traipse all over Mid Valley Megamall or 1 Utama.
Anyway, my driving license expired yesterday and Wuan’s expired two months ago. Even if we go out lugging the container with us, we have to take a cab there and back. We will be renewing it tomorrow before we drive to the hospital for the tests. And then we will make up for today by spending the rest of the day in one of the shopping complexes.
Reallybites wrote an eulogy for her friend who passed away recently. Eulogies are beautifully written sad stories that remembers the memorable times of a person’s life. What I could relate to was that her friend, although having to undergo dialysis, continued doing what he loved best – photography. I love photography. I am living with chronic kidney failure. One day in the future, I may just have to undergo dialysis when my kidneys give up on me.
That final moment when I breathe my last and go meet my Maker does not scare me much. What I fear most is the process that leads to that final moment. Am I able to live my life to the fullest in spite of the 3-day per week routine of 4-hour sessions of boring renal dialysis? Will I continue to freeze moments in time with my camera? Will I be able to muster the spirits to never give up? I am not sure I can be that strong.
When that day comes, I will look back at ReallyBites’ story to inspire me to fight to the last, to never give up. I cannot forsee or change whatever that is forthcoming. What I can do now is to build up my courage for that day and pray that I do not falter. All that I can do now is to live day at a time and hope for the best.