Wuan and I were officially married seven years today. How much my life has changed since then. I have never been happier. I have never been more fulfilled. And there is no one else I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Thirty years post spinal cord injury. It has been a long journey. I got a little melancholic reading the article I wrote in The Borneo Post last week about this fateful day.
I am still paying the price for the mistake of diving into the swimming pool a long time ago. I am not complaining though. I have to live with the choices I made, good or bad.
A first-year medical student asked me recently if I regretted doing what I did that day.
“There is no point regretting,” I told him. “I cannot change what I have done.”
I may regret doing many things, or not doing others, but this, never. I can wallow in guilt or use the effort to deal with the emotions on more productive deeds.
Frankly, I never thought I would live to see this day but here I am. I have made it! I guess we can never know how far we can go even when we are living one day at a time.
This blood test was done six months after the previous one, the longest gap in between tests and routine medical reviews for a while now. Serum creatinine level hit its highest at 337 mmol/L. It was 331 mmol/L in September last year and went down to 299 mmol/L in March this year.
This blood test shows that my kidneys are functioning at 18% of normal capacity. Looking at the history and progression of my kidney disease, the doctor was not too concerned with the results yet as the serum creatinine levels are fluctuating within a narrow range.
I am now edging closer to needing dialysis. I have already decided on the treatment option should that day come, which I hope never. I think am prepared for it but I wonder how my emotional state will be when I hit the threshold.