I am in a pensive mood. The events of the day were just too overwhelming. Early this morning, my cousin Peter fetched Cheng Ee (Mum’s youngest sister) and me to the Mount Erskine Columbarium to light candles before Mum’s niche. Today is All Souls’ Day.
After all the candles were lighted, auntie and Peter recited prayers for Mum. I did not know any; so I performed the usual tribute with my harmonica. As I blew the tunes of the emotive Amazing Grace, tears flowed down my cheeks. I still miss Mum very much. We lingered a while there, watching the flames sway lazily in the wind, each reminiscing silently about the times Mum had graced us with her kindness and magnanimity.
Later, we attended Mass at the Risen Christ Church at Ayer Itam. Poh Ee, my other aunt (Mum’s second sister) had requested for Mum’s name to be included in the prayer for the dearly departed today. The Mass was in Mandarin, which I have a very poor command of. Even then, simply being there was enough to give me a sense of belonging. This is the first time that I have entered a church in twenty years, except that time for Mum’s Funeral Mass. It brought back memories of the time I used to tag along when Mum attended Mass in Balik Pulau.
Today I am embarking on a journey that I never once thought I would take. The journey may be long, the destination yet unclear but one thing I know for sure – if I look to Mum for strength and direction, I am sure the path will eventually be clear and welcoming.