A New Journey


I am in a pensive mood. The events of the day were just too overwhelming. Early this morning, my cousin Peter fetched Cheng Ee (Mum’s youngest sister) and me to the Mount Erskine Columbarium to light candles before Mum’s niche. Today is All Souls’ Day.

After all the candles were lighted, auntie and Peter recited prayers for Mum. I did not know any; so I performed the usual tribute with my harmonica. As I blew the tunes of the emotive Amazing Grace, tears flowed down my cheeks. I still miss Mum very much. We lingered a while there, watching the flames sway lazily in the wind, each reminiscing silently about the times Mum had graced us with her kindness and magnanimity.

Later, we attended Mass at the Risen Christ Church at Ayer Itam. Poh Ee, my other aunt (Mum’s second sister) had requested for Mum’s name to be included in the prayer for the dearly departed today. The Mass was in Mandarin, which I have a very poor command of. Even then, simply being there was enough to give me a sense of belonging. This is the first time that I have entered a church in twenty years, except that time for Mum’s Funeral Mass. It brought back memories of the time I used to tag along when Mum attended Mass in Balik Pulau.

Today I am embarking on a journey that I never once thought I would take. The journey may be long, the destination yet unclear but one thing I know for sure – if I look to Mum for strength and direction, I am sure the path will eventually be clear and welcoming.

Author: Peter Tan

Peter Gabriel Tan. Penangite residing in the Klang Valley. Blissfully married to Wuan. A LaSallian through and through. Slave to three cats. Wheelchair user since 1984. End-stage renal disease since 2017. Principal Facilitator at Peter Tan Training specialising in Disability Equality Training. Former columnist of Breaking Barriers with The Borneo Post. This blog chronicles my life, thoughts and opinions. Connect with me on Twitter and Facebook.

6 thoughts on “A New Journey”

  1. hi peter,
    i wish u a wonderful journey through life. the world will be urs to explore if u let it.
    start by asking urself everyday, what u want from life.. and give full reign to ur dreams and wishes.
    i enjoy ur poems very much.

  2. Thank you. What do I want from life? I thought I had it all figured out. Now, I realise that there is more to it than I had expected. Time to go back to the drawing board.

  3. A new journey is always exciting. Don’t forget to take in the sights, sounds and smells along the way. 🙂

  4. Life. It’s full of surprises. That is why it is so exciting. It has its ups and downs. I have had my share of both. I hope you have a good one 🙂 Whenever you feel like falling, whenever you think there is nothing to live fore, when you want to give up, remember there are always people around you to back you up, who want the best for you, who want you to succeed and have the best out of life.

  5. Yes, Natasha, our journey is made so much more interesting with such people around. I thank my lucky stars that I have loved ones and friends who are always looking out for my well-being. Thank you for your good wishes.

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