Changing of Seasons

I have lost count of the number of people who have asked me how I am going to spend my Chinese New Year. The answer invariably was that I would let it pass by quietly. That was exactly what I had planned. There were too many reasons why I would have preferred to be alone.

Many things have happened lately and not the way that I had anticipated. I do not celebrate the advent of spring anymore simply because I live alone. Decking the apartment in all shades of red for a few weeks is not my idea of merriment. I dread festivities because of the memories it would invoke. I would really have appreciated moments of solitude hoping that the days would zip by speedily and the festivities be over soon.

Man proposes, God disposes. Just two days ago, Uncle Paul called me to say that he was coming with his family and asked if there was any place for them to bunk in. They arrived from Melaka yesterday evening and my apartment has been a hive of activity since. Adel had also intimated to me that she and a few of the Secular Franciscans would love to come and celebrate the occasion together with me. My neighbour Soon Leong and his wife have also invited me to join his family in their reunion lunch tomorrow.

How am I going to spend my Chinese New Year? With all these good people of course! I will enjoy their company when they are here and appreciate my time alone when there is no one around. Nevertheless, the Chinese New Year will never be the same again without my parents. The atmosphere of those days had faded away a long time ago.

Change has come and has caught up with me without my realising it. Things may never be the same again but the seasons will continue to come and go. I will either have to adapt to the evolution of time or wither away with it. Choices like these are sometimes difficult to make when things do not look bright at the other end.

Author: Peter Tan

Peter Gabriel Tan. Penangite residing in the Klang Valley. Blissfully married to Wuan. A LaSallian through and through. Slave to three cats. Wheelchair user since 1984. End-stage renal disease since 2017. Principal Facilitator at Peter Tan Training specialising in Disability Equality Training. Former columnist of Breaking Barriers with The Borneo Post. This blog chronicles my life, thoughts and opinions. Connect with me on Twitter and Facebook.

19 thoughts on “Changing of Seasons”

  1. I’m glad you see it this way, Peter, festivities is not about the decor and hanging trinkets and red cloths, but who you spend it with and the quality of the time spent =)

  2. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end. I know that nothing is better for them than to rejoice… Ecclesiastes 3:11-12 (NKJV)

  3. “How am I going to spend my Chinese New Year? With all these good people of course!”

    And what better way to spend the new year. 🙂 Gong Xi Fa Cai, Peter.

  4. Peter, here’s wishing you a Happy Chinese New Year. May the year of the Rooster bring you abundant happiness & good health.:)

  5. Jinny,
    Well said.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Gong xi fa cai to you too, and to Mae and Baby Jesse.

    Okie dokie.

    Here is wishing you a prosperous Chinese New Year too.

    Gentle drops falling
    Patterns on window pane
    Tell us spring has come

    A brand new year is waiting. Another year filled with expectations, resolutions, fears and forecasts. A new year that may disappoint, surprise or bring joy.

    My sincerest wish is for everyone to be happy, contented and share a moment of joy, peace and understanding.

    Dear Peter,

    I have noted with a little dismay, how, in your previous blog entries, the advent of this coming lunar new year seems to have brought your melancholic nature to the fore. I can appreciate why you may feel that CNY without your parents isn’t worth a celebration, but Peter, I’d like to offer alternative perspectives here.

    Spring is not just a renewal in nature, the turning of seasons. In this season of Lent, or (as I prefer) of Eastertide, renewal and rebirth of the spirit also awaits.

    Spring is a great time to get ourselves re-aligned with the power of Spirit. Spring is also a reminder of the gift of a great life when He called us, one by one, by our names, and we answered. Do take this opportunity to renew yourself in the eternal wellspring of Spirit, Peter. Let Spring be an opportunity for new beginnings, new opportunities to pursue the knowledge of God, the abundant life in Christ and many things that are excellent.

    Time is God’s precious gift to us. Many people who passed away last year, including those who perished in the tsunami disaster don’t have the opportunity to see this new year. Where there was so much devastation and desolation just a month ago, we now see life bursting forth everywhere around us.

    Leave the disappointments, sadness and despair of yesteryear and find opportunities to do things anew and do them better this year. (Hey, I like the new festive banner you’ve just put up) Take not the new year for granted. Instead, receive God’s gift with a thankful heart.

    And if I may suggest, Peter, with your gift of words, why not let this turning of seasons help you rediscover your passion and release your creativity?

    In the spirit of renewal, help us all find, in the rich rhythms and sounds of poetry, a fresh way to celebrate the spring of all our hearts – with all its dreams, hopes and passions.

    Explore with us, Peter, the cycles of renewal and the colours and changes of spring through the beautiful structure of a haiku…

    … if spring were a sight, a sound a touch, a feel, a taste, a smell…

    In your God-given eloquence, Peter, bring all the senses of spring to life, for us, in your poems blog …

    Or serve up a visual feast of all creation yearning rebirth or the abundance of spring…

    Celebrate with us, Peter, a new spring, a brand new year!!

    Gong Xi Fa Cai, my dear friends!

    Delicate petals
    Silky, blushing, pink and white
    Drift on gentle breeze

  7. Dear Peter…U said creatinine levels rarely come down, but with God, all things are possible so don’t allow yourself to think fatalistically…Anticipate God’s help and healing!! I have an immune system disease and am not able to leave my house at all during any cold weather and not much any other time…I could not make it thru without God…He sustains me, helps me through and I can’t tell you the multitude of times I have turned to Him for emergency healing…and He has always seen me through. I have had a tough time in getting it thru my head that “GOD’S WILL BE DONE” NOT mine! Lol! It’s difficult at best, as I know your life is…But with God all things are truly possible. I keep you in my prayers and hope for a miracle for you! Love Koda (p.s. I live in South Dakota, brutal winters and scorching summers, windy all the time, as we’re on the plains) My hope is to move to a more temperate region for my health. ( :0)

  8. Hey.. Peter.. 🙂
    My thoughts are with you .. this CNY.. 🙂
    I too wish you good health.. and all good things.. 🙂

  9. Amazing, isn’t it? As you so aptly put it “Man proposes, God disposes.” You are never alone because God is with you and He has put “angels” around you. Even during CNY 🙂 Have a blessed Chinese New Year.

  10. Arusa,
    Thank you for that long and uplifting piece. I sure needed a dose of that to perk me up. Thank you again.

    That was me being very human. I do lift my problems up to Him. Sometimes, I tend to forget that I should be doing that all the time. You take care too.

    Thanks. May your CNY be blessed too. Take care.

    Indeed, He is always with me. Thank you for reminding me. You have a blessed Chinese New Year too.

  11. May God, who loves us so much, bless you in every way this Lunar New Year and fill you with His peace. I am spending CNY alone. Today, when my mother signalled to me — in a way that I, her daughter, can understand — that I am “included” even though once again I cannot bear to join her and my beloved Amah-cheh in their celebrations with my relatives, it gave me a kind of warmth that I had not felt for a long time. It was like Peter’s relatives giving him the gift of their company unexpectedly. Very precious. My memories of so many past happy CNYs in my 3-generation home make my heart throb but at least I know that it is an ache that comes from love. God Bless you all — love, Auntie

  12. Happy Chinese New Year, Peter! No matter how you celebrate it, remember that God will always be walking with you throughout the good and the bad times 🙂

  13. HAPPY NEW YEAR to you, peter!

    as i mentioned in jinny’s blog, i just might drop in your house during the CNY if i’m not to lazy to move my butt from the computer table/chair. 🙂

  14. Auntie,
    May your CNY be filled with blessings of happiness and good health.

    🙂 I hope you are having fun away from home. Surely you can relate to how I felt. Thank you for your kind words. Gong xi fa cai.

    Welcome but give me a call first to make sure I am home. Xin chun kuai le.

  15. *lol*

    sorry about the long post. Even as I addressed you, I was also spring-cleaning my own state-of-mind, talking to myself! My thanks Peter, for the timely reminder. 😉

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