I Have Seen The Light


Papal crucifix on my rosary.
Photo by Wuan.

I saw in my mind?s eye the vision of Mum, resplendent and radiating, and smiling. She was being lifted from her bed on both sides by what I believed were angels. Mum never looked better. For a moment, exhilaration swept over me. I have never seen Mum any more beautiful than that. As I opened my eyes, the singing of hymns jolted me into reality. And tears flowed down my cheeks. Deep inside, I had an inexplicable realisation that Mum had already left me. Perhaps that was God?s way of telling me that He had taken Mum into his fold and that she was no longer suffering the worldly pains that had anguished her, and me, so much for the past few weeks.

2003 – The Year That Was
December 31, 2003

?That could be the work of the devil,? someone said to me when I related to her about how I came to accept God into my life.

After what I saw that fateful night, nothing anyone said could have changed my conviction that there beyond doubt is a Supreme Being, one that represents all things holy and pure from where all things come. For one who never had faith in the Almighty for thirty seven years, that about turn was astounding. All the years of denying and fighting simply melted away. For once, I was overwhelmed by a consummate tranquillity that I have never experienced before.

If that indeed was Satan?s ploy, he lost me because it was exactly that revelation that tipped me over to the other side. Nevertheless, anything as beautiful as what I saw can never be from the nether regions. The bliss that overcame me those few minutes was sufficient to convince me that it was the embodiment of absolute goodness that can only originate from above. Come what may, this journey is one that I will persist on. I have seen the Light. There is no looking back now.

Author: Peter Tan

Peter Gabriel Tan. Penangite residing in the Klang Valley. Blissfully married to Wuan. A LaSallian through and through. Minion to three cats. Wheelchair user since 1984. Columnist of Breaking Barriers with The Borneo Post. Principal Trainer at Peter Tan Training specialising in Disability Equality Training. This blog chronicles my life, thoughts and opinions. Connect with me on Twitter and Facebook.

14 thoughts on “I Have Seen The Light”

  1. As far as I know, it is called the Papal Crucifix because it is a replica of the one on the Pastoral Staff used by several Popes in recent times.

  2. Whether true or not, it’s good to have faith in God, in a good way ofcourse. I don’t like the notion that God saves you. He will definitely guide you onto the right path. Maybe you dream was God’s way of telling you that its time to let things go of your mom. It was His way of telling you that all is fine so you’ll move on. Perhaps that is a sign that you can actually be better. *wink*

    Dream dictionaries define that death means rejuvination.

  3. Yvonne,
    That was not a dream. I was wide awake. Whatever that was, I found consolation from it.

  4. That was God’s way of revealing Himself to you. Praise God that you are now saved and someday you will reunite with your beloved mother in eternity!

  5. bkworm,
    That, truly, was a Divine Revelation. Praise God for showing me the way.

    percolator,
    Thanks. I will try to get the copy of Herald from my cousin.

  6. My Mom saw a “vision” one night…the outline of a man at the foot of Mom’s bad, outlined in light…Then, the lights surrounding the figure slowly faded. At the time, Mom’s Dad was very ill and not expected to live. Mom had pleaded with God to heal her father and he was given 7 more years. I believe the vision she saw was an angel.
    Several years ago, I asked God for a guardian angel and a few nights later as I lay in bed, my bedroom was illuminated with brilliant light as though someone behind me held 10,000 sparklers. When I slowly turned to look, nothing was there, yet as I turned back and looked away, fragments of sparkling light reamained and then were gone. I think there was an angel nearby.
    I truly believe there are angels in our midst.

  7. P.S. I awakened the other day thinking immediately…”Peter Tan needs potassium” I think your meds may be lowering your potassium and causing excessive fatigue and weakness. Potassium stores are usually practically non existant before the loss shows on the tests (unfortunately) & potassium loss can kill you. I have a great deal of trouble with it and any meds that throw off fluid in the body or where one’s diet is limited, among other causes, are all possible culprits. So, I do hope you’ll get your potassium checked! I always keep you in my prayers! Love Koda

  8. percolator,
    I have read that. Thanks. The Penang Diocese will be celebrating its 50th Anniversary too in August.

    KODA,
    Those visions are beautiful. You are so blessed. As for my blood potassium, I need to go for a test to determine its level. The last time I got it tested, it was within range.

  9. although i’m not a christian myself, i still truely believe in angels. Couple of years back, my dad was very ill and he was in ICU for almost 2 weeks. Internal bleeding. Docs could not figure out what was wrong. He was so weak. Mum was frightened and cried when he was wheeled into the operation room on one emergency incident. But that saved his life. I remember clearly dad telling me he saw the visions of Kuan Yin and Buddha behind her in the ICU. Most prob he was blessed too. He’s now well again, after staying 2 whole months in the hospital, he values life very much more now. He spends more time with the family, and I’m trying to do the same as well too. So, I guess I can understand truely how you feel 🙂

  10. sHee,
    Those are beautiful. That is exactly what changes us and transform us into better persons.

    Blabarella,
    😀

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