The crossroads of life can be trying times. I am standing in the midst of one. Do I move forward? Should I take the left turn? Or the right? Those are difficult choices but decisions must be made nonetheless.

Since coming back to Penang, I have been struggling to get back into a consistent routine of cooking, housekeeping and work. My health has taken a beating because I have been unable to maintain the prescribed diet.

There are many things that I have planned to do. Those are the things that I would have found fulfilment doing. Nevertheless, I have been unable to get the assistance to support my activities of daily living in order to allow me to work on them.

Cooking, housekeeping and laundry is bogging me down endlessly. I am caught in an unending cycle of performing one of those tasks, rest and move on to the next. They have not only worn me out physically but mentally as well.

I am contemplating moving down to Kuala Lumpur. Although I love Penang, I find that the daily challenges that I have to go through here are not worth the effort that I am putting in. Yet, there are memories here that I am reluctant to let go of. Where should I go from here?

Author: Peter Tan

Peter Gabriel Tan. Penangite residing in the Klang Valley. Blissfully married to Wuan. A LaSallian through and through. Slave to three cats. Wheelchair user since 1984. End-stage renal disease since 2017. Principal Facilitator at Peter Tan Training specialising in Disability Equality Training. Former columnist of Breaking Barriers with The Borneo Post. This blog chronicles my life, thoughts and opinions. Connect with me on Twitter and Facebook.

17 thoughts on “Crossroad”

  1. option 1: I could bunk with you in exchange of house-cleaning when i drop by for my graduation

    option 2: just freaking pindah to KL laaaa.. so many fwens hereeeeeee hehe…

    No option 3?

  2. KL KL KL KL

    Then be prepared to be bugged into providing transport when I need it. After all, you are just a short drive from where I will be staying.

  3. everyone faces problems with tasks. fatigue and mental drain is just part and parcel of it.

    however, do you think things won’t be the same in KL?

    will there be someone in KL doing the cooking, housekeeping and work for you?

    it all really depends but if moving to KL would mean better facilities then by all means, go ahead.

    Of course there will be “someone” to do all those in KL. ;P

  4. You don’t have to clean the house every day! Do like a chore a day or something! Its nice to have help sometimes although you really want to be independent!

    Yes, it would be nice to have help, not sometimes, but everyday, just for an hour or two. I am overstretching myself here. Independent living is not about living by myself and doing things all by myself. Rather it is about self-determination and being in control of my own life. In Japan, the most severely disabled are able to practice independent living with the assistance of a personal assistance who support them in the tasks that they cannot perform.

  5. Moving forward is always a good thing. You can always bring the memories with you to the big city. Your health comes first, not the memories. It’s much easier to maintain good memories than maintaining your good health.

    Some very wise words there. Thank you.

  6. MOVE TO KL!

    It just makes perfect sense! Duh!

    And you will be providing transport service whenever I need it also?

  7. Well, FindingMe did amazingly “predict” that Penang could lose you… We, the “Penang Malis” would miss you greatly; but my friend remember, home is where the heart is. Perservere on with what you want to achieve and you will find the support you need. I guarantee it. Pray always for His guidance. God Bless.

    I still have unfinished business in Penang. Pray I am. Please pray for me too my dear friend.

  8. Peter,in what ever you do,remember that He will always be with you. If you think that KL is much more convinent then go ahead and go,knowing thet Wuan would be there to do all the house work and the medical facilities is better then go, you could always go back to Penang for a visit once in a while.. no matter what happends,Penang would always be home to you,although not there in flesh and blood but in toughts.. 😉 take care and Pray for his will to be done on you!! God Bless!!

    Thank you for sharing part of my burden. God bless you.

  9. Eugene.. sorry I sometimes can be the harbringer of bad news… but it happens. Shit happens.. haiya.. I oso dowan this to happen…

    Peter.. I wanted to say things to make you stay in Penang… But I realise yesterday that it would be selfish of me to do just that. Although it may prove difficult for you here in Penang, but ultimately it is you… it does not mean the disable folks here will have to take a back seat. But I know one day you will be back in Penang with all your knowledge and experience to spread the independent living movement here in good ole Penang…in the meantime… we have to wait… patiently… Maybe starting the movement in KL will ultimately spread to a scale…. striking where it matter the most… good plan…

    I think you are lost somewhere. I did not say I am moving. I said I am contemplating.

  10. Hey.. Peter,
    I have no contacts in Penang.. but in KL .. i am very sure.. i can find someone to provide you with transport whenever you need.
    I really wish i could do more for you .. 🙂
    How about moving to Canada..?? I promise to provide lodging.. and transport.. and food.. as well.. 🙂

    I will hold you to your words – lodging, transport and food. What is nice and beautiful in Canada?

  11. Just Do It ! You knew it was the right thing to do, you just need reassurance. Transport is not an issue, Wuan should get a car ages ago.
    Life is short, spend it doing housework or spend it doing what you are meant to do. Fight for what you believe in, live for what you are destined to. Direction is shown again and again, ignore it or follow it. Choice is yours, for better or worse.
    Unfinished business in Penang? Penang is not as far as what you used to think anymore, you have been to Japan, Bangkok and many more places to come. Look forward, theres a reason the car windscreen is larger than the rear-view mirror. Take a peek at the rear-view mirror once in a while but do not wallow in it or you might veer off from where you are supposed to go.
    Crisis it is not, just another decision you have to make.

    You always have the right things to tell me huh! One major unfinished business is going to be concluded soon. It will be eaiser to make decisions then. Thank you, as always, for your wise words.

  12. If your health is suffering, then maybe it’s time to move on. KL is not too far away from Penang. You could always visit again whenever you like. Of course, there is much to consider. But your health must come first.

    Health first. I will remember that. Thanks.

  13. Hope you’re doing okay. Like Marita said, KL is not too far away from Penang. 🙂

    You people working together to tell me the same things huh! 😛

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