Four years have passed yet the pain remains. Each time thoughts of you filled my mind, I wondered if I had done enough – enough in fulfilling my duty to you as a son; enough in making you comfortable during those final months; enough in easing the agony that cut through your very soul each time the effects of the painkillers wore off.

I blame myself. I blame myself that I did not spend more time with you. I thought you were going to recover. I thought we had more time. I was wrong. Time was never on our side. You left. And life was never the same again.

There were times when I desperately wanted to remember that one moment you said, “Don’t go. Come sit here.”

You were already bedridden then. Tried I did but there is no recollection of what happened. Did I sit by your side? Did we have a conversation? I do not remember. I do not remember. I DO NOT REMEMBER!!! I mourn for that gap in my memory, the one that would have meant a lot to you as it was to me.

Four years have passed. I miss you now as much as I missed you four years ago. Never a day passes without me praying that you are well where you have gone to. May the Lord’s perpetual light shine upon you. Rest in peace Mum. You are truly home now.

Posts that may be related:

• In Memoriam - Mum’s Fifth Death Anniversary
• In Memoriam - Second Anniversary Of Mum’s Death
• In Memoriam - Mum’s Third Death Anniversary
• Happy Fourth Anniversary
• Dad’s Eleventh Death Anniversary

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 12th, 2007 at 21:49 and is filed under All About Mum. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.