Eat Now, Regret Right After

The chronic kidney disease has curbed my enthusiasm for good food since I was diagnosed with it in 2004. Mr. Liong, the urologist at Lam Wah Ee Hospital in Penang, gave me an advice that I remembered till today, that I should take good care of my failing kidneys, which if not, would cause a lot of undue hardship to my family when they fail totally and I need to go for dialysis. I took that advice to heart and have been keeping to a strict renal-friendly low-protein, low-sodium and practically low-everything to keep the decline in check.

I pride myself for adhering to having just two matchbox sized portions of meat daily most of the time. I also scrutinise the mineral contents in the food that I eat. As hard as I try, there have been occasions that I allowed temptation to get the better of me with the notion that I should reward myself with some taboo food for depriving myself for so long. So, I would tuck in the food and savour every mouthful like it was my last meal. Food never tasted so good.

And as always, inevitably, the moment I put down the cutlery, I would ask myself if I over-indulged. Did I eat more meat than I should? Was that gravy a tad too salty? I would regret even more should I start to itch and had to take anti-histamine tablets. I did say I stuck to the low-protein diet most of the time. Those other time I did not, I would be trouble over a period of time wondering if I overloaded my kidneys and tipped them over the edge.

I am writing this post because I have a scheduled blood extraction together with an ultrasound of the kidneys, ureters and bladder on Friday, and I am troubled by the few times I ate more than I was allowed to or did not catheterise as often as I should have. This is the same emotional cycle that I go through every time I have to go for blood tests and ultrasound. It would persist until I get the test result when during the scheduled medical appointment two weeks later.

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Peter Tan

Peter Gabriel Tan. Penangite residing in the Klang Valley. Blissfully married to Wuan. A LaSallian through and through. Slave to three cats. Wheelchair user since 1984. Columnist of Breaking Barriers in The Borneo Post. Principal Trainer at Peter Tan Training specialising in Disability Equality Training. This blog chronicles my life, thoughts and opinions. Connect with me on Twitter and Facebook.

6 thoughts on “Eat Now, Regret Right After”

  1. Hey Peter, I can understand how you feel because we’re on similar boats.

    I’ve been put on a no-flour, no-sugar, no-meat and low-salt diet to help with my skin issues, but there are times when I fall off the wagon and beg my parents for just a mouthful of whatever they’re eating. Anyway, I hope your test results will give you better news. =)

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