Category: Chronic Renal Failure

In the hubbub of everyday living, I tend to forget who I am. There are bills to pay, things to get done, meals to cook, groceries to buy and a thousand other things that run through my mind from the moment I awake in the morning until the second I fall asleep at night. Caught in this mad rush to go through each day, I also lost sight of who I want to be. A mechanical being is what I have become, doing things in set ways day in day out every day of the week. The humanness in me was slowly being chipped away by these daily drudgeries.

There were also times when I got arrogant. I wittingly let little accomplishments get to my head believing that I alone can achieve those feats without needing help. I allowed myself to grow into a self-centred and vain person. Those are not good traits that I want to possess. The times that I realised my follies, I felt ashamed of it but they were soon forgotten and repeated. Old habits die hard.

My ego needed to be pricked constantly to bring me back down to earth. The innocence that I used to possess had to be rejuvenated and the perfunctory temporarily discarded. These I must do to bring the simplicity back into my life again. I discovered no better way than following one simple rule of abstinence. I have been observing Meatless Fridays for the past three weeks. Meatless Friday is an age-old Roman Catholic tradition that is not strictly adhered to anymore now. For me, there is more to it than its religious significance.

It takes a conscious effort to become a vegetarian once a week. This deliberate self-denial brings realisation to the question mark of whom I am and who I want to be. As I tuck the vegetables into my mouth, I am reminded of the purpose I am eating this meal. I am constantly prompted to thank God for the little blessings that come my way every so often, to practice humility in my dealings with everyone and to recognise my limitations. Vegetarianism teaches me patience and self discipline, two virtues which I yearn for in myself.

Forgoing meat brings back the essence of humanness into my life. I am reminded that every life is sacred and should be treated with respect irrespective of species and whatever their purpose to us the Divine had intended. It is also an opportunity to give my body a rest from the other unhealthy meals that I have been having for the rest of the week. For a moment the chores that had been depressing my days to no end seemed to melt away. For one day in the week, I can feel alive again. Worries are furthest away from my mind. Life has become simple once more. If I can, I will be skipping like a little child come every Friday.

Tau Eu Bak – Braised Pork with Hardboiled Eggs

A healthy appetite is a good thing for me. What is not good is that the healthy appetite is being fuelled by an unhealthy diet. Meat, namely pork, has been the main feature in my meals lately. I do not usually fancy pork. This sudden craving for meat is surprising. Yesterday was wantan with choy sum soup. The wantans tasted better than they looked. I am not resisting it much because this is no doubt a change from the usual bland tasting meals I have been eating.

Huangshan Mao Feng Green Tea

Today’s lunch was braised pork with hardboiled egg (tau eu bak) and stir-fried kangkung. There are several versions of the tau eu bak. I settled on this recipe by Amy Beh archived at The Star Online ? Kuali. It was tasty and one of the better tasting tau eu baks I have eaten in a long time. The belly pork was rather fat and made the gravy greasy. I drank some green tea afterwards with the hope of washing away some of those artery-clogging lard. Whether that works or not, my next blood test will tell. I really must cut down on red meat.