An Apology

Words once uttered cannot be retracted. In my impatience in trying to futilely get my points across regarding why non-disabled people should not use accessible toilets, I have, in some instances, been tactless, callous and impolite. I may have hurt someone (Jess) in that process. I will not make excuses for those misconducts. I have reflected on that for the past two days, realised that my discourteous behaviour was uncalled for, confessed to my parish priest yesterday and made penance for it.

Further to that, I would like to apologise to Jess whom I had an intense debate at Narcissism Is Necessary. I am sorry for using those unpleasant words. There was no necessity on my part to conduct myself in such a manner. However, I stand by the facts that I have presented. I would like to humbly appeal to you to try to understand the restricted use of accessible toilets from the point of view of disabled persons. There are rationales why they are so.

Author: Peter Tan

Peter Gabriel Tan. Penangite residing in the Klang Valley. Blissfully married to Wuan. A LaSallian through and through. Slave to three cats. Wheelchair user since 1984. End-stage renal disease since 2017. Principal Facilitator at Peter Tan Training specialising in Disability Equality Training. Former columnist of Breaking Barriers with The Borneo Post. This blog chronicles my life, thoughts and opinions. Connect with me on Twitter and Facebook.

123 thoughts on “An Apology”

  1. This is my first time here and I applaud your efforts to highlight the plight of the disabled , and aged. and I also admire your apology to Jess when you realise you erred. As for XX, she is a public figure and like all public figures if they continue spreading insensitivites and hatred, they should not be representing companies. Same for politicians, they erred they resign. Unlike XX who has a record of making bad judgements and instead of apologising, start her drama queen wailing of My grandpa grandma loves me even if you dont and the latest, I’m from a single inome family.. you would think with her background she would have more compassion.

  2. Honestly speaking, I think you should take off the label of Catholic from your blog. I know so many great Catholics and I hate to imagine them in the same category as you. Some form of apology, indeed! You’re nothing but hypocritical, sly, vindictive–so, what ever happened to ‘if your brother offends you, first apologize TO HIM before you go and offer up your sacrifices’? So much for being the meek and loving salt of the earth, huh.
    I honestly doubt you really feel sorry for your actions. From what I can read in your apology, you haven’t even gotten to the point of forgiving her. Go you, for fooling people into thinking you actually mean it, yeah?

  3. “…I may have hurt someone in that process…”

    this doesnt sound apologetic to me. or am i jux too sensitive? u HAVE INDEED hurt someone in the process, and u are not admitting your mistake by using the word “may”. “may” shows uncertainty or am i wrong?

    “…confessed to my parish priest yesterday and made penance for it…”
    im a free thinker myself, and so does xiaxue, i suppose. if someone backstabbed me and then went to repent to his/her God, will YOUR God come to me and apologise for his/her sake??!!! [and meanwhile use some magic or wadvever to amend his/her mistakes?] so i should be a christian huh? so then i can burn down houses, rob banks and stuff and then repent to God, and im a free man. guilt? no way, i have repent to my God remember?

    truly speaking, you WERE a great man with lots of love towards others. [at least on the surface] but this time u have really gone too far. u dont like what xiaxue say in her blog, u wrote in to her sponsors. so now i dont like what u have written [menses was dribbling down her thighs], should i go around singapore and urge the public NEVER to donate to the charity organisation(s) u are committed to? urge big bosses NEVER employ female employees with disabilities because menses maybe dribbling down her thighs huh?

  4. Hello Peter.
    I admire you for so clearly proclaiming your faith and beliefs. And I admire you for being strong enough to put all this behind you.
    However, as Christians, we carry not only our own name but also the name of our Father in heaven. And thus, we should really think twice about what we say and do.
    Reading Xiaxue’s comments saddens me, because many of her readers have taken the opportunity to flame all Christians based on this incident. How many of them will walk away with a negative impression of our religion and our God, simply because of this? How many will lose their salvation?
    I know it was not your point to bring in religion.
    But it is inevitable.
    And it is the most unfortunate side effect of this entire debate.

    It’s always not what WE will to do, but what will please our Father in heaven, that we SHOULD be doing.


  5. I completely agree with romantic. if she thinks herself a celebrity she should learn to behave like one (under our assumed code of conduct for celebrity behaviour).

    One formal complaint and her endorsement/s is/are out? Quite surprising, considering marketing folks don’t just sign people on and off just like that. They’ve got brains too you know, and surely they’ve done their research. Give them credit alright. How can two mostly small-time bloggers cos her to lose her job is unthinkable. From a marketing perspective, detractors are commmon but they can be managed with good PR/customer service. IMHO, this affair gave them the opportunity to pull out, fast!

    Trust her readers to cry foul over this event. If you’re a consumer and you’re unhappy you have every right to complain, just as XX does on her blog. IF she considers herself mass media and/or celebrity writing on her blog has far-reaching implications more than any letter will ever have. I used to enjoy XX until her rants got more and more egotistical and overbearing. I’m sorry to say that once a daily reader her actions have become such a turnoff that i rarely, if ever, go to her blog anymore. Her posts are offensive and if she keeps writing that way and relying only on her whinging self, then really, there’s no point being part of her readership.

  6. Dear Peter,

    I may have come across as condescending in my first(ever) comment. This was not my intention.

    Peter if I may, there are weak people, meek people and strong people. I count myself as one of the meek and you, the strong. I have no blog, no voice …I usually shy away from contraversy, conflict and generally any strife amongst people. But I do believe that you did the right thing in your actions against xx, and then some when you posted an apology (though I feel it was uneccessary – like I said, you ARE a bigger person).

    You have become a voice for those who have none and I look up to you for that. In my book, you are a heaven sent equalizer 🙂

    and… uh… mob1900 – I wasn’t flaming Peter k? In fact I visit your blog too because you an equalizer for us small folks too!

  7. Correction is needed: ‘I may have hurt someone in that process.’

    Nono, you already have hurt her in that process. Too proud to admit that? I thought all your pride went with you while you emailed the companies.

  8. I’ve always respected people with disabilities for I think they have more heart than “normal” people. But you have somehow proven me wrong. What she said is wrong (I find myself disagree-ing to some of her opinions), but what you’ve done is worst. I symphatised you and stood by you when I read yu arguments but after finding out what you’ve done, I know I am not the only immature person in this world.

    When only confess to your priest? It is not his life you help in ruining… Yes, she indirectly threatened her own income when she decided to write that entry, but uncle Peter, you helped the process. You can sleep better after only confessing to a priest? Why not continue fighting against her belief but in a more “mature” way? I am sure more ppl will symphatise, I know I will.

  9. Dear friends, on reading the blog entry closely, I would feel (my opinion) that Peter seems to want this whole row to be done with. Like he said, things flare up when words/opinions/actions happen which strike a chord inside us. Despite not feeling ‘wrong’ (opinions are an individual’s take on issues – right or wrong shouldn’t be an issue), he has had the humility to apologise for his behaviour in a fit of emotion, which happens to many of us almost daily. Everyone has their own views and a proposition to debate/argue will be responded by opposition.

    A suggestion perhaps – enjoy casual reading of blogs as a way of broadening your perspective on people. Many differing views, attitudes, opinions are out there. Don’t take things personal. I made that mistake many years ago on my church youth forum, and in the end, it felt so silly, and the only thing fit to do was reconcile and respect differing views. Really, making a daily effort to reflect (not to agree or accept, just reflect and make your own of it) on thoughts conflicting with your own will end up helping you to understand life and people so much better. I read a few blogs regularly, including XX and Digital Awakening, and taking an open mind into it helps you to see both the good and the bad in people. A beautiful world, because of it’s sweetness and bitterness.

    But hey, when someone decides he/she has had enough (my opinion), then it is time for the issue to fall away. I too am Catholic, and after receiving the sacrament of reconciliation, I would really hope not to stoop down to a level that made me feel i needed to confess in the first place! Being human, we are not perfect and we fall but pick ourselves up again and try to be better persons in future. A few comments to this entry just serve to show the disregard for Peter’s decision to let the ugly side of the matter rest. You may be angry or feel strongly for your side of the battlefront, but if the other side lays down his sword, do find it in your hearts to do the same. It probably is high time we all just lay the matter to REST. Let’s do precisely that ok? We got enough wars in the world already. LAY THE ISSUE TO REST. Let’s learn to live as one with our diversity of thought and kind. ok, that last line just sounded cliche, but its relevant! =)

  10. What you have done, ie. to email companies who endorses XX, is really low and shallow. As a fellow catholic, I am flabbergasted at your actions.

    No doubt you have received the sacrament of reconciliation, but the damage is already done. You are a bad example of a catholic.

    And please do not use the Lord’s name in vain.

  11. Perhaps it is true that what Xiaxue said on her blog is of bad taste and rather insensitive towards handicapped people, but by going after her sponsors, you have lowered yourself to her level. No, in fact, I should say that you have gone even lower than she has ever gone.
    All she was doing was expressing her opinions regarding certain issues on her blog. That’s the whole point of a blog anyway, isn’t it? To express your opinions freely, and for everyone to see, something like a personal diary where people can get an insight into what one has to say. I may not neccesarily agree with what xiaxue posts on her blog all the time, but I do not go as far as to complain about her actions to her sponsors, something that may jeopardise her source of income, and affects her in a big way. You think it is a RIGHT to have a nice clean toilet? Likewise, it is also a RIGHT to have freedom of speech.

    Do you honestly think that this post about you repenting and confessing to your priest will change things? The damage has been done. You have caused 2 of her sponsors to pull out. It’s a bit like cutting someone with a knife, then saying sorry and expecting the scars to disappear. And even if you did write back to her (former) sponsors and apologise to everyone and ask her sponsors to take her back on board, I doubt they would do it , as you have already sown the seeds, and tarnished her image.

    I would have thought that an adult like you would have been able to see the folly in your actions. Xiaxue indirectly insulted handicapped people on her blog, and you respond by pulling out all the stops to hurt her. I thought this kind of thing only happened in playgrounds, between immature children. You are no better than her. And honestly, I think that you’re even worse. What’s the point in raising so much money for charities involving disabled people, when you have such an aggresive stance towards non-handicapped people like xiaxue? In a way, you are being discriminative towards her. It’s so stupid, it’s not funny.

  12. peter might have had wrong intentions but he’s not entirely to blame. for one, workplace disputes are so common whats the big deal?? moreover, you gotta look at the response of the companies who withdrew. peter has limited amount of influence, if theres anyone to blame it’s the companies themselves. they were xx’s employers and they “fired” her, with reasons they might not disclose. and one thinh, xx is well aware of her media influence so it’s her fault for writing so disparaging of others.

    if xx has workers rights, use them.

  13. For those who have thought that this apology post written by Peter was about the letters or to xx, pls read again carefully. *roll eyes*

    To James who left a comment (and others who lashed out Peter), you wrote:
    so now i dont like what u have written [menses was dribbling down her thighs], should i go around singapore and urge the public NEVER to donate to the charity organisation(s) u are committed to? urge big bosses NEVER employ female employees with disabilities because menses maybe dribbling down her thighs huh?

    You do that, by all means, and see if any organizations give a hoot about your “cause”? Has it ever crossed your mind that the companies may have also thought that what she wrote or even advocated was wrong and thus withdrawn the endorsement? You seriously think that by one or maybe two persons writing to the companies telling them to do something and they would immediately do it, as if they don’t have a mind of their own? Are you saying that IF i write to Body Shop today threatening not to buy their products unless they start testing their products on animals, then Body Shop will just do it? See, you can give ridiculous examples, so can i.

    And pls, enough of those “single-parent family” and “hurting her livelihood” crap. This is practically insulting all those who came from single-parent family, work very hard, lead a simple life, and strive on in the face of adversities instead of whining about how they have been victimized.

  14. Yo guys, stop it, especially those name calling peoples as well as those bringing in Christian/Catholic issue peoples. The act that you doing to Peter/XX is no different than what XX or Peter did to each other. Calling Peter/XX with names, trying to bring him down with harsh words, making him pay for the consequences to XX is not going to do the work, just like what they did.

    I used handicap toilet once in 1-U cinema when the normal toilet is so jam up and the handicap toilet is empty for so long. XX have her point, so as Peter. It’s a case by case situation, where XX is saying the need to use since it’s empty all the time and Peter, on the other hand, is when the disable really need to use it. You can see how peter was carried away by the issue. Look at the comments you put, it’s the same what happen to peter, you get carried away. At the end, everyone is just trying to make things easier and convenient for everyone.

    Learn how to comment and do things, like voicing agree/disagree, pointing out the mistakes that you think will do. DO NOT bring in religion nor name callings, it does not do the job, nor make you any better or closer to god. There are lots of wise people here who know how to comment and voice out their opinion, carefully look how they do it.

    Hope you get my point. Just my thoughts.

  15. Let’s all give it a rest, ok. People make mistakes. There is a difference between those that have made mistakes but defend them vigorously, and those that have made mistakes but realize how grave they are and feel remorse for it. Should we go on harping about it, even after someone feels bad about it. Shouldn’t we act as adults and realize that if someone feels bad about it, they will eventually sort it out. Shouldn’t the by-standers, cut the people involved some slack.

    Remember, hate is contagious, and when it spirals, no one can assume control over it. Let’s keep hate in check and give reason a chance eh.

    There are better things to do then harping on other people’s mistake. Like blogging about the chill of the rain or the beauty of the morning sun. Like taking steps to ensure everyone around the world have proper sanitation system. Like loving your neighbour. 🙂

  16. hey you act like a saint . so are you? oh please stop being [ACTING] so PERFECT . are u sure u have reflected on what you have done . oh yeah im sure u did since you are perfect what . stop minding other people’s business . keep your nose to yourself la . who u think u are . really a SAINT ah . dont make me puke . maybe you should just go eat sH*t and drink your ur*ine . save the world’s resources . cos you’re wasting them .

  17. I really hope u won’t repeat ur own mistake (referring to ur past malicious actions to someone whom u do not know or understand in person) again & that u really repented.

    Seriously, u need to review ur faith and teachings of the roman catholic.

    Be kind to ur peers and pls DO NOT judge them (esp to someone whom u don’t know or understand in person) by some issues that u might have misinterpreted.

    Be kind to people and people will be nice to you.

    God bless.

  18. LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. are you a christian? or a catholic? what’s a roman catholic christian? there is no such thing.christian is is catholic.please clarify.

    by the way,mooiness,shut up already. you are just using peter tan to attack xiaxue.

  19. hi, clicked on your link from xiaxue’s site.

    well, everyone has their points and all. but i think it’d be good to think before you react. how angry you are, you have to cool down and think it through before react.

    there’s no point going for confession, cause whatever you said/did to the other person is done. and that person has to live with it even after you confessed.

    always remember the “banging of nail into board” story.


  20. regarding your post “…i may have hurt someone in that process…” and “…confessed to my parish priest yesterday and made penance for it…”

    this is the worst excuse I heard from anyone so far, you think that the confessions made to the priest can undo your sinful actions? confessing to the priest IS WAY EASIER THAN APOLOGIZING TO THE PERSON YOU HAVE HURT. You are so egoistic and ignorant that it showed inside here:”…i may have hurt someone in that process..”, you are still justifying that you think you did not hurt her, and you did not make efforts to explain to the endorsement companies. It doesn’t mean that although she’s a bitch then you do not have to apologize although you have wronged her.

    “words said cannot be undone”. just brilliant, go confess your sins and just still let her endorsement die like that. you are being selfish, unforgivable.

    maybe somebody should just stab you at the back, leave you dying there, and go confess to a priest instead, don’t forget you are still lying there and left to die 🙁 then you’ll know how others feel).

  21. Peter,

    No worries, mate. Everyone lashes out, once in a while. After all, we’ll explode, if we just keep it all in to ourselves.

    We are human, after all, and to be human is to err.

    At least you did the right thing, you apologized ^_^ And that makes you a real man, in my eyes.

  22. I don’t see there’s a need for Peter to apologize to xiaxue since when did she apologize to those countless of people whom she has hurt? DUH!!! xiaxue should stop putting blames on others like Peter or Kim for all these that has happened to her because we shouldn’t doubts the capabilities of these marketing people in Kimage and Voxy in doing some well researched about her before they make such a decision. Kudos to Kimage and Voxy!!!

  23. Why THE HELL ARE YOU FUCKING PEOPLE BRINGING UP RELIGIOUS ISSUES? So what if Peter is a Christian or a Catholic or neither? If you asked/said who is Peter to Judge. Then who the heck are you to judge PETER on whether he is a good Christian/Catholic or not? ALL YOU FREAKING PEOPLE HAVE NOT COMMITED ANY SINS BEFORE?

    Oh HOW angelic….. Hypocrites!

  24. i say once again,
    You said that “Repeated use and abuse will damage and make the toilets dirty, wet and unusable to disabled persons”.
    I say, does it mean that disabled people wil not dirty and damage the toilet?

    I have disabled friends, but i do not see that they need any sympathy from anyone.
    Moreover, they wanna enjoy what the normal people are going through,
    waiting for toilets,
    queueing up for food.

    Should i even say, next time there should be a queue for food specially for disabled people?
    how about a special colored toilet sign for the colorblinds, since red ( for lady’s toilet) cant be seen to the colorblinds?

    I SAY.
    it is a priviledge than a right.

  25. Oh and here Peter is moderating my posts. If Xiaxue can moderate posts and Peter and moderate posts, i dont see why the comment from previous entry says ” while xx approves nicer posts, she moderates the evil ones” meanings.

    COME ON. moderating posts are like SO NORMAL. even i moderate my post.
    It’s a blog, MY blog, Your blog, Peter’s blog, XX’s blog
    so what’s with the moderation?

  26. Ya, i think u went too far. if u reali got such strong opinion in wat xia xue said in her blog, maybe u cld hab told her directly, there is realli no need for u to email so many pple and her companies to put her down. i believe kimage n voxy n those local brands got their own eyes to read, there is realli no need for you to do tt.

    both u n xia xue got diff pt of views regarding this issue, n me, being a neutral party, i won’t say anyone of you is wrong, but when u spread it ard, it becums another issue. what you did simply show that you want to win ppl’s support. and show how insecure you are. your pt of view sld be within your own blog, why the need to spread it around?


  27. Peter, Peter, Peter…
    I think you really have overreacted this time. Clearly, you have not read XX’s blog entry clearly enough. You have only taken in the lines that are controversial, and ignored the lines that clarifies the issue.
    It’s HER right to blog about anything she wants to, because, thats HER blog and HER opinion. Therefore, I dont think you have any right use her own opinions against her. I’d like to add this: the entry was REALITY, it doesnt represent the entire handicapped community. She was only against A MAN. It’s not her fault that he happened to be handicapped. It’s his attitude he’s against, no the handicapped community. Yes, you are entitled to the right to comment. However, you have taken you entitlement overboard to attack her. You, PETER TAN, have ruined her career and her source of income, AND, DEFAMED her far and wide. In my opinion, she has done well in endorsing those products, and that she does not deserve to lose something because someone just doesnt seem to agree with everything she says. Even if you wish to teach her, i would say you’re not her father.
    Sure, you have claimed to be sorry and have confessed and so on. Sad to say, this is nothing compared to the damages that you have create to harm another. You should at least, try to reverse or minimise some of the damages. I hope you have already apologised to XX, by email or comment, and sent a clarification mail to whoever you have sent that cruel mail to.
    This, I think, is a misunderstanding brought too far. I sincerely hope that you have learnt your lesson. Bless you.

  28. To XX Suporters,

    I do not condone what Peter has done, but please refrain from insulting him. Especially those who attack him personally. I think he has enough problems of his own (both because of XX and his physical health), and even if you wamt to criticize, asking him to “go and die” or “eat s#it” isn’t the least bit constructive.


    I just wanted to add that I understand you went for confession. Clearly, you felt that something you did was not right. And I do believe that if a person truly asks God for forgiveness, he will receive it. BUT, getting the priest’s forgiveness and saying penances is not enough. You must TRULY repent.

    If you truly want to repent, show it. Be specific. I’m sure when you went to XX’s sponsers, you were extremely clear why she was a bad role model. So why not be equally clear about who you have hurt and make it up to the person. Be sincere.

    Whether intentional or not, christianity or catholism (if you prefer) is being dragged through the mud. Sure, people are shallow, but why give them the chances or the reason to use this as an example to show how ugly christians can be. Think about it.

    Why not show that christians can truly repent and be genuinely about rectifying their mistakes. Do not give half hearted or insincere (or as same people put it, ambigious) apologies. Take this chance to be the bigger man, and do christians proud.

    Peter, just tell me one thing, do you at all feel at fault for how you went behind XX’s back?

  29. Peter,
    For goodness sake, shut your comment board. What are you trying to achieve? Can’t you see that you are allowing all these people to smear the good name of our Catholic church? What do we get out of these names calling? If this goes on, I would say that you are dragging our Catholic church into the mess over that stupid issue. Shut this comment and move on with your next posting or wateva. These accusations, using the Lord’s name and making fun of Christians are disgusting enough.

  30. you appology is not acceptable. you do not kill a child who belongs to a mother of 5 children then say sorry and tell her that at least she has 4 left. you have hurt people and regardless of the amount of care for hospice thingys you do for others will not redeem a sin.

    i hope XX forgives you because you are not worth hating.

  31. I am backing what Peter Tan did. I would have done the same. The reason being, people like Xiaxue thinks that she can say what she likes, which can undermine all the effort of what people were trying to do to fight for the Rights of Disabled People.

    In Singapore where Xiaxue come from, I know personally the individuals from the Singapore Handicapped Association who worked with the Singapore Government, such as the HDB, and the Public Works Department during the evening and weekends, sacrificing their spare time and their family time so to get the guidelines for disabled toilets and other facilities on board for disabled people to use.

    What happens in Singapore is made an example in Malaysia and other Asian and Pacific countries as UNESCAP in the 90s when UNESCAP adopted the Singapore guidelines and trained people from all over Asia to fight for the rights of disabled people. Although this is about Accessibility, it touches and effect many other issues relating to disability.

    Many of us in the forum may not know that there are kids out there who are disabled that did not get further in life because the environment is disabling, for example, I know of people stopped schooling just because after 12 years old their parents cannot carry them up the flight of stairs anymore, and the added burden on low income earners of disabled kids’ parents affecting their life’s chances. So many issues, that need to be forefront but we can only managed to highlight about Accessibility, which when looking at how developed countries had done it, were the first issues to be highlighted. We in Asia have still a very long way to go.

    So Brand Names like Xiaxue or whatever it may be (such as any other famous bloggers or personalities) or McDonalds, Marks and Spencers, News Strats Times, Malaysian Airlines, STAR LRT or whatever business out there, please be ready when you start critising and putting down disabled people and their rights. We will fight back. We are no pushovers!

  32. misinterpretation is the key word here.

    she didnt insult disabled ppl. she juz stated her views in HEr blog for heaven’s sake.

    infact i feel that u have insulted a fellow blogger and caused her to lose her endorsements.
    this is a sin.

    and whatever that has been said cannot be taken back. u shld do some self reflection.

    before u start hurting ppl pls think of this
    Eph 4:32
    Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

  33. “… people like Xiaxue … undermine all the effort of what people were trying to do to fight for the Rights of Disabled People.”

    By saying that one handicap man was rude? Maybe you do not fully understand the meaning of undermind. She was insensitive, yes. But arent you pushing it a little too far? Or maybe you just want to believe what you want, rather than listen with reason and logic. Mind you, no one is saying xx is right. People are just saying what Peter did was underhand.

    The rest of your comments simply digress from the topic. All the facts you quote are not even relevant. I don’t mean to insult, but you need a lesson on arguementative writing. You quote facts that aims at confusing others and creating an impression that you know a lot when in actual fact, is completely off topic.

    How is all these even vaguely related to what xx said?

    “We will fight back.”

    Thats what every terrorist says. That is how wars starts. It is precisely because of people like you, that the world is such an ugly place. Ask Peter if these are christian values? Of course, I’m not saying you cant do what you do. Please go ahead. Honestly, Ive little concern what kind of a person you are.

    However, a site with a christian owner, seeking donations from people should realize he does to a varying extend represent all christians, and should conduct himself better.

  34. At the end of the day, this post and the Oct 17th post, and all of it is about Disabled People’s Rights. XX is a Public Personality. She should know better than to put down “Disabled People’s Rights”. She endorses a view where she “flippantly” used the issue in her blog, which is her style, to put down an issue which is “central” to a “fight” for disabled rights. Accessible toilets, believe it or not, is a Big Issue for disabled people.

    Hence, I am saying that what Peter did was right. Peter is very nice to be apologetic and all, but seeing that he gets hammered in this blog, I would like to point out an argument that people should not hammer him because of this Rights Issue. That is my point.

  35. My good man, going to your priest is no good. You need to pray to God directly, ask for forgiveness and pray that you change your ways. Penitence is alright if you mean repentence. Remorse is not enough. To sin, feel remorse, and then continue in that sin, is not real repentence. If Jesus taught anything he taught us “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” as well as “love thy neighbour” which INCLUDES enemies. I do not see much love here.





  37. i wonder if anyone noticed that these bloggers are arguing about TOILETS here. no no just think about it for a moment. toilets. ok.

    i dont understand why this peter guy is so passionate about handicapped toilets. i mean whats the big deal? its a toilet for gods sakes. peter already knows that using handicapped toilets is stated in the united nations malaysia law blabla. shouldnt he be satisfied already? i mean if he catches someone using the handicapped toilet he can just report it right?

    i personally feel that some disabled people take their disabilities for granted. yes, they are not like us but they have to understand they are not above us either. we are all people and we are all equal in the eyes of god. i dont think if he were here he would treat petertan or xiaxue any different from each other whether they are disabled or not. besides disabled people can do amazing things sometimes even better than us able bodied ones.

    petertan just has to come to terms with himself that not everyone shares his opinion and he is not always right. why so much anger? relax.

  38. xiaxue was merely expressing her opinions and experiences and she DID not deserved what you did. By cutting off her income through writing to her sponsors and cc-ing your email to all the charities, you have stooped lower than any person can. She at least have the very integrity of not mincing her words, standing by what she said and paying a price for it – your dogged determination to break her. your confession is not going to change that unless you do something constructive. i.e. apologise to XX and cc it to EVERYONE you send the first mail to.

    You could have tried to impart your values or expressed your thoughts to her, so that she can learn to empathise with whomever you wanted her to empathise with. and NOT, try to take revenge. Your behaviour have disgraced your faith.

  39. Peter

    Apologies aside, what you did was throwing sand into someone else’s rice bowl. I have been reading XX’s blog for sometime now, and I can tell you that her rantings are just that. No one takes her seriously on any topic that might be really serious or anything. Indeed no more would have been thought about what she wrote on the 16th October, if not for you and Kimberley. You now have got a whole lot of people wondering how far we should go to give way to the handicapped. Obviously you are not handicapped in your head and your bark and bite can be as vicious as any full bodied man. You may be right in your opinions and view. So what? At a time of emergency and real emergency at that, I would just as much handicapped as you justifying the use of facilities meant for handicapped. After all how do you define handicapped? A blind man or deaf and dumb person is also handicapped. But they do not need the facilties provided in one of those conveniences. But short term emergencies do arise and I have used those times before when I have been forced to use one of these toilets myself. And I am not apologising.

    However, as to right and privilege….My friend if I am putting up a complex and someone tells me that as a matter of right I have to provide for you guys..I will do so very reluctantly and minimally. However, if you left that consideration to my charity, I think I will be a lot more generous. Not because I want to be charitable…But that is what I am…and I think that is what most able bodied men are. But don’t you for one minute tell me that it is a right and it is incumbent on me to therefore oblige! If I do, it would be only reluctantly adn with a fuss!

  40. Peter,

    Shut the comments. For your sake and others as well.

    Everyone else,

    Stop harping on the issue. There are other more important things in life.

  41. If XX is a public figure then she is supposed to be politically correct. Why? She is a public figure because she is not politically correct. It is expected of her to come up with the kind of opinions she trashes in her blog. It is becaue of that “trash” that she has become the public figure she is. Just like Bart Simpson who is never politically correct. Yet we watch it and yet don’t allow Bart’s opinion’s to influence us. Should we now also boycott Simpsons sponsors? Or for that matter acting as Hanibal Lechter Anthony Hopkins was brutally a horrible person. Do we now hate Anthony Hopkins? Mind you Jodie Foster refused to take up the offer to do the sequel to Silence of The Lambs. I read Hanibal when that book first came out cringed at the thought of my favourite actress Jodie Foster acting in the long awaited sequel. And when she did not I sighed a great relief. In a sense I was disappointed that Anthony Hopkins took up the offer. To some extent there is a link between the individual and the persona no doubt. But certainly not in the case of XX and in the issue prevailing at the moment. Somehow, the person you try to represent yourself to be and your actions are contradictory as obviously there is a sense of bigotry playing a part in your actions. Your apologies here get diluted by your continued support for the stand you took about Handicapped toilets and your views about your rights to it rather than it being a privilege. In this I am inclined to go along with XX’s views too.

  42. Quoted from one of the comments from XX’s blog:

    … Just wanna point you to something here:
    International Human Rights Instruments, Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights, UN

    and one of the instruments is:

    Declaration on the Rights of Disabled Persons

    (In case you haven’t noticed, this falls under human rights) …

    Note this two rights:

    5. Disabled persons are entitled to the measures designed to enable them to become as self-reliant as possible.
    8. Disabled persons are entitled to have their special needs taken into consideration at all stages of economic and social planning

  43. I just think that you should try to get her sponsorship back… Not that i’m a great fan of XX, but it was quite mean to, in a way, rob her of a livelihood… I mean she has spent time on blogging to gain a status such that she is able to get sponsorship, but a few words of yours has taken away all that…

    On a separate note, i think the less fortunate have every right to use the handicapped toilets BEFORE ANY NORMAL PERSON, but it is also ur privilege that the handicapped toilets are there at all… Everyone has disabilities, one way or another, just so happens that for some, it is physical…

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