Father Francis Anthony and me.

Father Francis Anthony, Parish Priest of the Cathedral of the Holy Spirit, visited today to allow me to fulfill the Sacrament of Penance and Sacrament of the Eucharist preceding Easter. He has been going around the homes of the who are unable to go to church for the past weeks for this purpose.

The Catholic Sacrament of Reconciliation (also known as the Sacrament of Penance, or Penance and Reconciliation) has three elements: conversion, confession and celebration. In it we find God’s unconditional forgiveness, and as a result we are called to forgive others.

Source: AmericanCatholic.org - Sacrament of Reconcialiation

Catholics believe the Eucharist, or Communion, is both a sacrifice and a meal. We believe in the real presence of Jesus, who died for our sins. As we receive Christ’s Body and Blood, we also are nourished spiritually and brought closer to God.

Source: AmericanCatholic.org - Sacrament of the Eucharist

Somewhere between Bangkok and Kuala Lumpur.

There were tears in my eyes after I finished reading the story below. It was forwarded by a fellow parishioner who regularly sends out inspirational stories. I reflected on the meaning of this story. It struck me that we are all here not to enrich ourselves but the lives of those around us. What good would it be if we think of ourselves and do things for ourselves only?

Each of us here has a purpose and I believe that purpose is to make the world a better place for others. That may seem magnanimous and self-sacrificing. However that belief is farthest away from the truth. By creating a better place for others we are essentially making it better for ourselves. When we make others happy, we ourselves become happy.

We may not be able to save the starving children in Africa or keep the whales from being hunted to extinction. There are little things that we can still do. Saying thank you with a sincere smile is more than sufficient for a good deed received. Happiness is contagious. If we can make two persons happy. In turn, that two persons make another four other persons happy. Imagine the possibilities.

I remember sharing the following with a group of confirmands at the Cathedral last year:

When you do things for youself, you will be the only person who is happy. When you put in just a little more effort to do things for others, maybe ten other people will be happy together with you. Even if one other person is happy, that is worth the effort already.

Now, on with the story:

Two Choices

What would you do? You make the choice! Don’t look for a punch line; there isn’t one! Read it anyway. My question to all of you is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: “When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?”

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. “I believe that when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes, in the way other people treat that child.” Then he told the following story:

Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, “Do you think they’ll let me play?” Shay’s father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

Shay’s father approached one of the boys on the field and asked if Shay could play, not expecting much. The boy looked around for guidance and said, “We’re losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we’ll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.”

Shay struggled over to the team’s bench put on a team shirt with a broad smile and his Father had a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father’s joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay’s team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay’s team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible ’cause Shay didn’t even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball. However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing the other team putting winning aside for this moment in Shay’s life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least be able to make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher. The game would now be over, but the pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game. Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the head of the first baseman, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, “Shay, run to first! Run to first!” Never in his life had Shay ever ran that far but made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, “Run to second, run to second!” Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to second base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball, the smallest guy on their team, who had a chance to be the hero for his team for the first time. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher’s intentions and he too intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman’s head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, “Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay.” Shay reached third base, the opposing shortstop ran to help him and turned him in the direction of third base, and shouted, “Run to third Shay, run to third” As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams and those watching were on their feet were screaming, “Shay, run home! Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the “grand slam” and won the game for his team. That day, said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world.

Shay didn’t make it to another summer and died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his Father so happy and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

AND, NOW A LITTLE FOOTNOTE TO THIS STORY:
We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people think twice about sharing. The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.If you’re thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you’re probably sorting out the people on your address list that aren’t the “appropriate” ones to receive this type of message.

Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference. We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the “natural order of things.” So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice: Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up that opportunity to brighten the day of those with us the least able, and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it’s least fortunate amongst them. You now have two choices:
1. Delete
2. Forward

May your day, be a Shay Day, sunny today tomorrow & always!

Source unknown

This spectacular sight was spread across the evening sky after Sunset Mass one weekend in August this year. The double rainbow arches amazed me. As I sat there watching the colours fade into the dusk sky, I felt like a small kid again, excited at this unusual vista. I wondered what lay waiting at the ends of the rainbows. What would I discover there? Hope? I had hoped. Hope is all I have now, too. When faith falters, hope is all I have. Or should it be the other way around?

I am going to miss Penang. I am going to miss Ee Yean and Bryan, the two buddies that I have been hanging out a lot with lately, either in real life or in MSN. Most of all, I am going to miss this place that Mum and I had called home for nearly half a decade. Leaving those memories behind is painful indeed. She may have been gone for more than two years but her presence here is simply overwhelming. Without a doubt, there are still many things that I am reluctant to leave behind but the journey has to continue. I have to move on in order not to be sucked back into the dark vacuum that I once lived in.

Not all adverse events are bad. Some are blessings in disguise. Is this how I console myself? Perhaps. My renal failure has put some perspective into my life and the things that I want to achieve. Not a day passes without me thinking about my own mortality. Not a day passes without me thinking what I can do with the limited time that I have here.

Living with renal failure is kind of a good thing for me. There is now an urgency to make something out of my life. I believe there is a purpose why I had a spinal cord injury and now renal failure. The road ahead is already mapped. I have been shown the possibilities of how I can make things better, not only for myself, but for a whole community of my peers.

When I go meet my Maker, I want to be able to tell Him that I have made this world a better place. Is that not His purpose for each and every one of us for being here? No, I am not being morbid here. We have to go some day. I just want to be better prepared for it. Knowing that my time is limited is a boon in some ways. There is an urgency to make the best out of each day.

My creatinine and uric acid levels went up again, 241 umol/l and 416 umol/l respectively. Previous results were 222 umol/l and 405 umol/l. Dr. Liong was not too pleased with the figures and sent me back to Ms. Saw, the dietician, again. She worked out my current protein intake and fine tuned it to suit my condition. It is not much different except I need to reduce rice because that too contains some amount of protein and replace it with vegetables and fruits. That I can live with, too. I have to.

The increase in the creatinine count was expected as I had been eating hotel food for a large part of my stay in Kuala Lumpur recently, although I did adhere strictly to the protein portions allowed. Salt was a little difficult to avoid though but one particular restaurant was understanding enough to re-cook my order when the first two plates of fried rice had salt added. Amarin Heavenly Thai Restaurant at Mid Valley Megamall gets double thumbs up for that extra effort when Prof, Dr. Ramlah, Micheal and I dined there the day before the BAKTI-MIND Conference.

And then there are some things that I would rather not talk about now, some news about my renal health that got me more unsettled than before. This, although a related issue, was seen from a different perspective. It was not something new but to hear it straight from the horse’s mouth was enough to unnerve me. The facts are a little difficult to swallow for the moment. Still, I am hoping, praying, that something good will come out from all of this. It always does.

In spite of the gloom cicumstances, I am thankful to have been blessed with friends who support what I do. I have friends who are concerned with my well-being and friends whom I can count on when I need help. Most of all, I have Wuan. She is that unwavering force that persistently pushes me forward even when the conditions are not in my favour. I am truly thankful to have her by my side all these while.

Words once uttered cannot be retracted. In my impatience in trying to futilely get my points across regarding why non-disabled people should not use accessible toilets, I have, in some instances, been tactless, callous and impolite. I may have hurt someone (Jess) in that process. I will not make excuses for those misconducts. I have reflected on that for the past two days, realised that my discourteous behaviour was uncalled for, confessed to my parish priest yesterday and made penance for it.

Further to that, I would like to apologise to Jess whom I had an intense debate at Narcissism Is Necessary. I am sorry for using those unpleasant words. There was no necessity on my part to conduct myself in such a manner. However, I stand by the facts that I have presented. I would like to humbly appeal to you to try to understand the restricted use of accessible toilets from the point of view of disabled persons. There are rationales why they are so.