wedding preparations – Peter Tan – The Digital Awakening

Wedding Tea Ceremony – My Cousins Part 2

It is true when Harcharan said that I have many cousins. Those at the wedding banquet were only a fraction of them. I did not invite the majority of my paternal first cousins as they reside out of the island and I did not want to put them through the hassle. Besides, the restaurant would not be able to accomodate all if they “gave face” and attended. A restaurant with twice the seating capacity of Starview Restaurant would barely suffice.

Apart from my paternal and maternal first cousins, Wuan and I also served tea to one of my second cousins and two god-daughters of my maternal uncle and aunt respectively. The god-daughters are considered cousins with no less seniority in the family. In putting up these wedding tea ceremony entries, I got to know many relatives again and understand how we are related. In many ways, I am glad we had the tea ceremony. Someone mentioned that we are only able to gather many relatives at the same place and time only during weddings and funerals. Sad but true. I am glad we got together for a wedding this time.

Peter & Wuan's Traditional Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony - Ah Moi and Ah Nean - Maternal cousin and husband.

Maternal cousin and wife.

Maternal second cousin and wife.

Peter & Wuan's Traditional Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony - Ah Lek and husband - 2nd maternal aunt's god-daughter.

2nd maternal aunt’s god-daughter and husband.

Peter & Wuan's Traditional Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony - Maternal uncle's god-daughter.

Elder maternal uncle’s god-daughter.

Wedding Tea Ceremony – Wuan’s Sister and My Cousins Part 1

The traditional Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony is usually conducted in the morning when the groom goes to the bride’s house to bring her back to the in-law’s residence for the tea ceremony. Wuan and I did not go through that as it would have been too much hassle with me in Penang and her parent’s house in Ipoh. The other way is for the bride to be picked up from a service apartment somewhere in the vicinity of the groom’s residence. Instead, we opted to conduct the wedding tea ceremony at the restaurant just before the banquet.

The usual way to conduct the tea ceremony is to serve the parents first followed by uncles, aunts, siblings and finally cousins who are older than the bride and groom, in that order. I was advised that we do not have to do it that way as it would drag on for too long if we have to go by seniority. What we did was to serve tea to the relatives as they arrive.

The photographs in this wedding tea ceremony series are not in chronological order. I have rearranged them according to their seniority in the family. On my mother’s side of the family, brothers and cousins are addressed as “Ah Hia” which is “brother” in Hokkien and Teochew. The wives are addressed as “Ah Soh”. Cousin sisters are “Ah Ji” and their husbands “Ji Hu”.

Kah Che and Che Fu – Wuan’s sister and brother-in-law.

Peter & Wuan's Traditional Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony - Pheng Chee.

My paternal cousin.

Maternal cousin and wife.

Maternal cousin’s wife.

Maternal cousin and wife.

Wedding Tea Ceremony – Mum’s Cousins

Serving tea during the traditional wedding tea ceremony is known as “pang teh” (Hokkien) or “chum char” (Cantonese). After serving tea to Wuan’s parents and my parent’s siblings, who are senior members of the family, we did the same for my mother’s cousins whom I also address as “ah kiu” and “ah yee” (uncles and aunts in Hakka).

Hakka, Hokkien and Cantonese dialects were used interchangably during the tea ceremony. People in Penang predominantly speak Hokkien. My maternal relatives, many of whom are from Balik Pulau are Hakkas. Wuan speaks Cantonese only and I have learnt to speak Cantonese at a young age. Dad is a Teochew but I can hardly speak a word of it. But we understood each other very well despite the different dialects used.